- Lulu Roman: What has 11 hats, 12 eyes, eats peanut butter and snores?
- Grandpa Jones: I don't know.
- Junior Samples: I don't know.
- Cousin Clem: I don't know. What has 11 hats, 12 eyes, eats peanut butter and snores?
- Lulu Roman: I don't know.
- Grandpa Jones: You don't know! You can't tell a riddle without having an answer.
- Junior Samples: This isn't any fun, let's try on Lulu's clothes.
- Lulu Roman: Say rubber baby buggy bumper five times.
- Junior Samples: Rubber baby buggy bumper five times.
- Buck Owens: You know this life of wine, women and song is starting to bring me down.
- Roy Clark: Me too, I think I'll quit music.
- Buck Owens: [laughing] I hope your wife don't see this show.
- Teacher: I noticed you're wearing one green sock and one red sock.
- Buck Owens: I've got another pair at home just like them.
- Roy Clark: Do you remember in the old days when women wore short skirts, long dresses, short blouses and hats all the time?
- Buck Owens: No, who'd want to?