Louise Lasser: Mary Hartman

Quotes 

• Mary Hartman : It was a wonderful book. It was guaranteed to improve my emotional health.

  Harold Clemens : Did it improve your emotional health?

  Mary Hartman : I think so, I definitely think so. You see, it was while I was reading that book that I realized that I needed glasses, and that made me feel much better.

• Mary Hartman : [Referring to her chili]  Do you think this is too spicy or not spicy enough?

  Harold Clemens : Not spicy enough.

  [Referring to the Lombardi murders] 

  Harold Clemens : Of course there could be any number of psychological reasons why.

  Mary Hartman : [Deadpan]  Mmhmm.

  [Mary pauses] 

  Mary Hartman : So what'd you think it needs?

  Harold Clemens : Uh, what'd you have?

  Mary Hartman : I have uh, salt and... pepper.

• Harold Clemens : [Referring to high school]  I'm sure you were very attractive.

  Mary Hartman : [Charmed]  Really?

  [Changing her tone] 

  Mary Hartman : What'd you think happened to me?

• Mary Hartman : Heather's one of the real achievers in her class. We think that she's sure to win the Rotary Club award when she graduates... that's for good citizenship and posture.

  Harold Clemens : Ah, my, my. How nice.

  Mary Hartman : Yeah. Oh, we're sure of it, we're sure of it.

  [Raising her voice to Heather, who's slouched in a kitchen chair] 

  Mary Hartman : Mr. Clemens is writing an article about the Lombardi murders Heather. Heather? Isn't that interesting, dear?

  Heather Hartman : [Only her eyes are visible above the table]  I don't know.

  Mary Hartman : [Quietly]  Can you sit up a bit straighter when you "don't know," dear?

• Mary Hartman : Now, look! Everything's gonna be all right! And afterward, we're all gonna go to the House of Pancakes!