- Michael Kyle: The price of nudity sure has gone up.
- Michael Kyle Jr.: I know that's right, that lock just cost me $20.
- Michael Kyle: Yeah well that's $20 out the window, that lock's going to come off, it's a fire hazard.
- Michael Kyle Jr.: No it's not, Dad, it's metal, it won't burn.
- Michael Kyle: That's not what I mean. If there's a fire in the house and you're locked in here, you'll... you know what? Keep the lock on.
- Michael Kyle: Kady is 7 years old and she's still acting 3. It's not cute anymore.
- Janet 'Jay' Kyle: I know, it was cute when she was younger and like a puppy, now she's not like a puppy anymore, she's somewhere between a puppy and a dog, I don't know what you call it.
- Michael Kyle: Rudy. Remember on the Cosby Show, Rudy was so cute and little one day and then the next thing she's grown up and looking... like Bill Cosby.
- Michael Kyle: [Junior says he's going shopping] You mean looting?
- Michael Kyle Jr.: I prefer to think of it as a blackout sale.