Clark and Michael (2007)

Michael Cera: Michael

Photos 

Quotes 

• Michael : They rested their balls our chins on and brushed our teeth with their dicks!

• Michael : You're drunk.

  Clark : You're ugly!

• Michael : I mean, why should we make a golden necklace to drape around a neck that nobody watches?

• Clark : They brought up Ashton, not me.

  Michael : Yeah? Well what if I brought up that guy, uh, that guy from American Pie? What's that guy... the curly haired guy.

  Clark : I don't know his name.

  Clark : [to camera] 

  Clark : Can we even say names like this? I mean, I don't need another lawsuit right now.

  Michael : Oh please, Clark- JASON BIGGS. Sue me, you cocksucker. Earn your first dollar in seven years.

• Clark : I call her Lazy Susan.

  Michael : Ahhh!

  Clark : She hates it. She hates it.

  Michael : Is she lazy?

  Clark : Her eye... her eye is lazy.

• Clark : When are you coming back?

  Michael : NEVER!

• Michael : Oh, there's my neighbor Amanda! How are the petunias coming in this year, Amanda?... That's Clark!

• Michael : Did you breast feed her?