- Nessa: How's it going, alright?
- Smithy: OK, I'm glad you brought it up, cos I've got a girlfriend who a lot of people here know, so I'd appreciate it...
- Nessa: Where to she now, then?
- Smithy: What?
- Nessa: Where to she now?
- Smithy: Right, either speak English or learn Welsh, cos that, "where to she"... do you you mean where is she now?
- Nessa: Yeah.
- Smithy: Say that, then.
- Nessa: Where is she now?
- Smithy: Sixth-Formers netball tournament in Southend. She couldn't get out of it, she's wing attack.
- Doris: Mr. and Mrs. Shipman. I mean, that's bad luck by anyone's standards.
- Griff: What now?
- Doris: Well, she lives for the day she can change her name from West, what with all the connotations and what have you, and what does she become? A Shipman.
- Griff: Oh. That's very unfortunate. I don't know which is worse.
- Doris: Surely Shipman.
- Griff: Well, it's six of one and half a dozen of the other.
- Doris: It was more than half a dozen, Griff. It was in the hundreds.
- [Stacey has found out that Nessa is pregnant]
- Stacey: You've got to tell Smithy.
- Nessa: I can't.
- Stacey: You've got to.
- Nessa: He's a twat!
- Stacey: I know. But he's the father of your child.
- Nessa: I just can't believe it, Stace. Of all the people I've slept with, it's him gets me pregnant. Not Nigel Havers, not John Prescott, not any of Goldie Lookin Chain. No, some knobhead from Essex.
- DJ: Ladies and Gentlemen, Kevin and Tracey are about to leave. So let's give them a good Welsh send-off. Waaahheeyy!