The Riches (TV Series)
Believe the Lie (2007)
Eddie Izzard: Wayne Malloy
Quotes
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[first lines]
Wayne Malloy : [narrating voice over] I'm Wayne Malloy. My family and I are travelers. Our kind have been living in this country for 150 years. We're not listed in the phone book, we don't have social security numbers, we live off the grip. Some people call us gypsies, others call us thieves. Most of them don't even know we exist.
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Wayne Malloy : Why don't you come practice being her with me?
Dahlia Malloy : You wanna do it like a bufflewing?
Wayne Malloy : Oh, you know how buffers do it?
Dahlia Malloy : How?
[Dahlia and Wayne approach each other and become intimate]
Wayne Malloy : Once a year in a cave, standing up like polar bears!
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Wayne Malloy : We can do this. People do this all the time.
Dahlia Malloy : They do? They move into dead peoples houses, steal all their stuff, pretending to be them.
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Wayne Malloy : Think of the life we can have, think of the kids.
Dahlia Malloy : It's not a real one.
Wayne Malloy : We can make it real.
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Officer Shrage : Mr. Rich? Mr. Douglas Rich?
Wayne Malloy : [pretending to be Doug Rich] Is there a problem?
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Wayne Malloy : [loudly] Anybody who does good work, gets to shove something down the sink!
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Wayne Malloy : Baby, if you could get Doug's calendar, hers too. Find out any relatives, friends, things about that, any stuff...
[muttering]
Wayne Malloy : ...sex lives, whatever.
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Hugh Panetta : What happened to your friends?
Wayne Malloy : [pretending to be Doug Rich] Well you know, Hugh, places to go, people to sue.
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Di Di Malloy : Honestly, who spends four hundred and fifty dollars on one pair of shoes...?
Sam Malloy : Try really rich guy.
Di Di Malloy : ...and she buys three or four at a time.
Dahlia Malloy : I know! And everyone of them butt ugly. No taste.
Wayne Malloy : Try rich dead guy!
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Wayne Malloy : [pretending to be Doug Rich] A good lawyer makes you believe the truth.
Hugh Panetta : Son...
Wayne Malloy : [pretending to be Doug Rich] A great lawyer makes you believe the lie.
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Wayne Malloy : Doug Rich was a securities lawyer, whatever that is.
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Hugh Panetta : See this?
[waving his gun at the back of his house]
Hugh Panetta : It's modeled on Hermann Göring's summer place.
Wayne Malloy : Yeah, I noticed you have the same patio furniture.
Hugh Panetta : Yeah, you should see the bunker.
[chuckles with a glint in his eyes]
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Sam Malloy : So dad, how'd it go?
Wayne Malloy : Well, the good news is, I got the job.
Dahlia Malloy : You did? Well, what's the bad news?
Wayne Malloy : The bad news is, I got the job, and I don't know shit about the law.
Di Di Malloy : Dad, there's so many books on law upstairs. I can help brush up if you need help.
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Hugh Panetta : You crazy bastard.
Wayne Malloy : Thank you.
Hugh Panetta : You're a sick mother, Doug.
Wayne Malloy : Yes. Yes I am.
Hugh Panetta : [long hard stare] And I like that in a liar.