- The Fonz: Yeah Cool, I heard that too. And I know a damsel in distress when I hear one.
- Ralph Malph: But Fonz, our time machine, it's running away from home!
- The Fonz: Damsels first, Ralph, time machines later. Come on!
- Mr. Cool: Right, Ronzie!
- Richie Cunningham: You heard the Fonz, there's a girl in trouble.
- Cupcake: And I'll bet she's young and pretty. And blond!
- Ralph Malph: Hey, do you think so? Wait for me, Fonz! I'm right behind you.
- Cupcake: If my magic worked better I'd give them such a zap!
- [accidentally zaps herself in the face]
- Cupcake: Mooncraters!
- Ralph Malph: [after being zapped by Cupcake] Well, at least these clown suits fit better than our mounties uniforms.
- Richie Cunningham: Ralph, that is not a bright side...
- [Ralph honks Richie's big red nose]
- Richie Cunningham: Oh my gosh, this is terrible! That train is gonna spell bad news for that ingénue unless we stop it.
- Cupcake: Mooncraters!
- Ralph Malph: First Rich, I think we gotta stop that tree.
- [a tree is about to fall on top of them]
- Richie Cunningham: If it's this bad for us, I hope Fonzie's okay.