The War at Home (TV Series)
No Weddings and a Funeral (2007)
Michael Rapaport: Dave Gold
Quotes
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[Kenny is living at the Gold house after being thrown out of his own for being gay]
Vicky Gold : Now that he has a boyfriend and he's gonna be home alone while we're away, I think you need to talk to him about safe sex.
Dave Gold : Ahhwwweh, whaddayou kidding me?
Vicky Gold : No! We don't know what he knows and doesn't know about sex.
Dave Gold : And I'd like to keep it that way.
Vicky Gold : And I'd like to keep him from getting AIDS.
Dave Gold : A'right, a'right, a'right, fine. Fine. I'll go have a talk with him about the birds and... the birds.
[Dave finds Kenny reading in the living room]
Dave Gold : So, uh, eeah, you're, ah, you're, ah, you're reading a comic book, huh?
Kenny : [a little apprehensive] Yeah.
Dave Gold : Yeah, well, uh, you know how those things come wrapped in plastic to protect 'em?
Kenny : Um, yeah.
Dave Gold : That's always a good idea in general. Y'know, it's good to keep things wrapped up, to protect 'em. Y'know what I'm saying?
Kenny : Please tell me this is about me leaving the ham out on the counter.
[he pauses]
Kenny : Oh my God, are you trying to talk to me about safe sex?
Dave Gold : Yeah, but uh, there's nothin' to feel weird about.
[the scene shifts to the show's trademark 'thought room', where the characters speak directly to the audience, this time a split screen with both Dave and Kenny]
Dave and Kenny, together : This is the most uncomfortable moment of my entire life!