Gintama (TV Series)

Oh, Yeah! Our Crib Is Number One! (2006)

Daisuke Sakaguchi: Shinpachi Shimura

Photos 

Quotes 

• Gintoki Sakata : I heard that, a long time ago, people wore no underwear beneath their clothes. Craftswomen, girls walking around the street, little girls, even princesses...

  Shinpachi Shimura : Isn't it all the same? If you wanted to give examples, you should've given a broader age gap to nclude old women, adult women and young girls.

  Gintoki Sakata : You dumbass! We're not talking about underwear, panties or wearing nothing! If we were talking about lingerie, we should talk only about young girls!

  Kagura : Hey, only old men say "panties" these days.

  Shinpachi Shimura : Eh? Are you serious?

  Gintoki Sakata : You can't say "scantily clad" either.

  Shinpachi Shimura : Nobody says that these days.

  Gintoki Sakata : One thing you should never say is "thong". That word robs the girls from their shyness and deprives men from their joy.

  Kagura : Well, I'm wearing a tie-up thong!

  Gintoki Sakata : You liar! That's a lie!

  Kagura : I'm not lying. I've been wearing the same garments for years now. But now they're so wasted, there's only the cord left.

  Shinpachi Shimura : What kind of underwear is that?

  Kagura : In a way, you may say it's "vintage panties".

  Gintoki Sakata : They're not worth a cent, take 'em off. Regardless, our ancestors never paid no mind to underwear, nor did they wear it. In other words, one could do whatever they liked. Even the princesses were valiant like generals under their kimonos!

  Shinpachi Shimura : That's actually not a bad contradiction.

  Gintoki Sakata : Even when they seemed docile on the outside, they still were like a shogun on the inside. Or barbarians in...

  [Tae punches him] 

• Tae Shimura : I don't want you to bother me with your "no underwear" theories. That darned thief stole my favorite battle panties, the pervert!

  Gintoki Sakata : Battle panties? You planned to fight somebody?

  Tae Shimura : Exactly. I may need my full strength to settle the score. Never judge a book by its cover.

  Gintoki Sakata : And what will that get you? Would it satisfy you to get revenge in a duel to the death just to recover something you lost? Is that acceptable, if only to recover your panties?

  Tae Shimura : [evil smile]  It's not just the panties. I'll catch him and make him bleed.

  Shinpachi Shimura : Sister!

  Gintoki Sakata : That's not something a civilized, panty-wearing girl would say. I'd say that's the kind of thing you'd expect from a naked hunter from centuries ago.

• [Kondo has told Gintoki and Shinpachi about the Loincloth-Masked Thief] 

  Gintoki Sakata : Oh. So that's they story behind these panties, I always thought they were a gift from Santa...

  Shinpachi Shimura : Santa giving you panties? This isn't even Christmas time for God's sake!

  Gintoki Sakata : Shut up! The Santa Claus of Kabuki-cho works all year!

  Isao Kondo : [laughs]  It comes to show how unpopular you are with girls! You're pathetic!

  Gintoki Sakata : Yeah, I see. There's a proof that you, too, aren't popular with girls sticking out just like a sore thumb.

  [indeed, Kondo has a pair of panties halfway outside his coat. He notices and quickly covers it] 

  Isao Kondo : Agh! This... This isn't that thief's doing!

  Shinpachi Shimura : Then you're even worse than the other guy...

• Gintoki Sakata : Here's the 35th Annual Panty Thief Capture Project!

  [everyone celebrates] 

  Shinpachi Shimura : ...35th? Annual?

  Gintoki Sakata : And, along with you people, we have here the self-appointed director, Mr. Isao Kondo, to give us his opening speech.

  Isao Kondo : Well, the Shinsengumi is here to guard and protect the peace of the city. And what is peace? It is to make sure the people will live happily and free from disturbance! To assure the felicity of anyone under our care, we've sworn to make an even better peace! That is why, Shinpachi-kun, protecting your sister's underwear is also in the Shinsengumi's mission!

  Sogo Okita : Oh, that's just like the boss to use such an excuse. What a genius.

  Isao Kondo : Hey!

• Shinpachi Shimura : By the way, what is the whole Shinsengumi doing here?

  Sogo Okita : For revenge. Right, Hijikata-san? It turns out someone's been stupid enough to send one of these pitiful panties to Hijikata-san.

  [shows the panties, which Hijikata promptly slashes to ribbons] 

  Toshiro Hijikata : He's a dead man.

• Shinpachi Shimura : Couldn't you think of her brother, who's seen so much of his sister's underwear that he's grown desensitized to it? Kind of like a romantic scene that causes constipation when you watch a drama with your family.

  Kagura : And thus, a kid climbs the mountain towards maturity.

  Shinpachi Shimura : You! Stop jumping to conclusions!

  Sogo Okita : Seeing your sister's panties is no big deal. Hijikata-san once caught his dad wearing a bra.

  Gintoki Sakata : I see. The impact from that incident was what made him "cross the street".

  Toshiro Hijikata : No it wasn't!

  Tae Shimura : [furiously]  I'm staking my life for my panties! If you got enough time to talk, you got time to work too, lazy-asses!

• Sogo Okita : [carrying a large bag on his back]  Well, well, I predicted something like this could happen, so I went to pick these up from the storeroom.

  Shinpachi Shimura : And what are these?

  Sogo Okita : How should I put it... They're something like... landmines.

  Shinpachi Shimura : They're not something like landmines! They ARE landmines!

  Sogo Okita : It was a bit tough to get them. Security there's a bit tight.

  Toshiro Hijikata : The path of evil slithers like a serpent.

  Shinpachi Shimura : I couldn't agree more!

• Shinpachi Shimura : Maybe he's not coming today? No, not just today. Maybe never...

  Gintoki Sakata : It's okay. He will come.

  Shinpachi Shimura : What basis do you have to affirm that?

  Kagura : There's some very precious panties out there just waiting to be snatched away! There's no way a panty thief would let this opportunity slide!

  Shinpachi Shimura : But that's just too obvious. The more you look into it, it still looks like a trap!

  Tae Shimura : Shin-chan, when a thief gets into scrapes to get what he wants, he can be even more daring.

  Shinpachi Shimura : Why are you giving the thief a personality? What if he's a coward?

• Sogo Okita : Does it matter who it is? We'll just catch someone nearby, pass him off and it's done.

  Toshiro Hijikata : If all of us tell the same story, no one will know it.

  Shinpachi Shimura : What do you mean, "someone nearby"? And "if we tell the same story"?

  Gintoki Sakata : Oi, oi, stop screaming. If the thief listens to you, all our effort will go down the drain.

  Shinpachi Shimura : Well, guess what, you may get lost, what with all this heat!

  Gintoki Sakata : [grabs Shinpachi violently]  What the hell did you say, jackass? You want me to help with your contact lenses?

  Tae Shimura : [intervenes]  Stop this, you two!

  Shinpachi Shimura : I'm supposed to be the guy wearing glasses in this anime!

  Sogo Okita : You think they need help?

  Toshiro Hijikata : I can guess how this fight will end. They'll just continue until someone can go no further.

  Kagura : My fist is getting furious, too! Someone better feed it blood!

• Isao Kondo : C'mon, stop it, stop it. We shouldn't be fighting. I'm sure everyone's stressed due to the heat. Let's take a rest then...

  Gintoki Sakata : Shut up, loser!

  Tae Shimura : Shut up, deadbeat!

  Kagura : Shut up, Hanarari-kun!

  Toshiro Hijikata : Shut up, Miso bun!

  Sogo Okita : Shut up, gorilla.

  Isao Kondo : I'm sure it's the heat! It's all because of the heat! Well, I'll go buy some refreshments. I'm sure that'll calm you down.

  [the fight goes on, but people start giving their orders] 

  Kagura : I want an azuki ice cream!

  Gintoki Sakata : To me, something like coffee ice cream!

  Tae Shimura : Bargain Dash for me!

  Sogo Okita : Some jungle flavor will do.

  Toshiro Hijikata : A dish of veal with a pound of mayonnaise over it!

  Shinpachi Shimura : Uh... tea!

  Isao Kondo : Okay, I'll go get your orders. Be nice!

• [Kondo steps on a mine and blows up] 

  Tae Shimura : Look, Kondo-san's been blown up.

  Kagura : Seems so.

  Toshiro Hijikata : I wonder if it was the heat.

  Gintoki Sakata : No way. He must've stepped on a landmine. What a dumbass, couldn't he remember where he buried them?

  [everyone starts laughing] 

  Shinpachi Shimura : Huh? Wait a second... Does anyone here remember where they are buried?

  Tae Shimura : That's a problem. The paperboy will be blown up tomorrow.

  Shinpachi Shimura : NOW you say that?

• Gintoki Sakata : Think about it. Isn't the culprit clear by now?

  Shinpachi Shimura : Eh? Who could it be?

  [suddenly glares down and sees Kondo lying under the table] 

  Isao Kondo : [whispering]  Uh? I've been discovered? Couldn't be... But, uh... They must've spotted me. Ah! I've been caught! What's that? You think I'm the thief?

  [tries to stand, but bangs his head against the table] 

  Isao Kondo : A samurai of my class would never lower himself to steal women's panties!

  Gintoki Sakata : A samurai would never live his life stalking people either.

  Isao Kondo : Even if I was a stalker, I'd never be a panty thief! I'll sue you, bastards!

  Shinpachi Shimura : It's you who should be sued here!

• Tae Shimura : By ignoring your many flaws, your determination gets strenghtened to defeat an unknown evil. Oh, it brings me back.

  Shinpachi Shimura : Eh? Many flaws?

  Tae Shimura : Yeah. Even if you have to skewer your enemy completely.

  Toshiro Hijikata : Better yet, tear him to bits!

  Tae Shimura : Break him apart!

  Toshiro Hijikata : Dismember him and stomp him down!