- Tony Soprano: This is gonna sound stupid, but I saw at one point that our mothers are... bus drivers. No, they are the bus. See, they're the vehicle that gets us here. They drop us off and go on their way. They continue on their journey. And the problem is that we keep tryin' to get back on the bus, instead of just lettin' it go.
- Tony Soprano: Talk about a trip. I met this girl, fuckin' beautiful. We did peyote.
- Silvio Dante: Come on!
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: Really?
- Carlo Gervasi: Bobby did mushrooms once. Stuffed mushrooms, a whole fuckin' platter.
- Salvatore 'Coco' Cogliano: [after Tony discovers the affront Coco made to Meadow he walks towards him who is talking to a waiter, with a gun] Some peppers and cheese, gorgonzola. Alright? Don't Forget
- Butch DeConcini: [Tony starts to beat Coco to a pulp] WHOA! WHOA!
- Tony Soprano: [training his gun at Butch] Sit down! SIT DOWN!
- Butch DeConcini: [sits down] Easy, easy!
- Tony Soprano: You motherfucker! My fuckin' daughter
- [beating Coco]
- Tony Soprano: My fuckin' daughter. MOTHERFUCKER! MY FUCKIN' DAUGHTER!
- [puts his gun in Coco's mouth]
- Tony Soprano: You want some Sambuca with this?
- Butch DeConcini: Tony! You're makin' a big fuckin' mistake here!
- Tony Soprano: [aiming at Butch again] How about I put a bullet in your fuckin' head huh?
- [pulls Coco and puts his mouth on the fireplace]
- Salvatore 'Coco' Cogliano: Don't do it!
- [Tony curb stomps Coco, making him lose some teeth as Butch looks away]
- Tony Soprano: [threatening Butch] Want some?
- Paulie Walnuts: I got dosed with acid once, back in '68.
- [to Tony]
- Paulie Walnuts: I was with your dad and them at the Copa. Fuckin' BOAC stewardess put it in my drink. Jerry Vale's singin' and I look over. Your Uncle Jun's got laser beams shootin' out his eyes!
- Tony Soprano: When you were sick in the hospital, we talked. We shared a, uh... an understanding about life.
- Phil Leotardo: This is business, Anthony.
- Tony Soprano: Yeah, I know. But I'm talkin' to you here on a human level. There's a limit, Phil. C'mon. A point where business bleeds into other shit. Feelings make things financially unfeasible.
- Phil Leotardo: [chuckles] Charles Schwab, over here.
- Tony Soprano: So that's it. No leeway, no compromise, just stupid fuckin' jokes.
- Phil Leotardo: You want compromise, how's this? Twenty years in the can I wanted manicott', but I compromised. I ate grilled cheese off the radiator instead. I wanted to fuck a woman, but I compromised. I jacked off into a tissue. You see where I'm goin'?
- Restaurant kitchen staff: [after Tony curb stomps Coco, in Spanish] Get a mop.
- Little Carmine Lupertazzi: So, the reason I'm here you could probably guess.
- Tony Soprano: What happened at Coco's restaurant.
- Little Carmine Lupertazzi: This alteration you had with him. You're at the precipice, Tony, of an enormous crossroad.
- Anthony Soprano, Jr.: I was watching CNN. This story about these kids in some Iraqi hospital. How the burn unit doesn't have the right medicine or something. And then they show this story about some mall in Minnesota and these gigantic, fat people buying stuff and eating all this shit. You know, it's like my parents. You should see our house, this stupid coffee maker they got, media room. You know, then there's Blanca. Her kid hardly talks. She can't afford to send him to a decent school.
- Dr. Richard Vogel: You think your feelings about Blanca in any way relate to this African boy?
- Anthony Soprano, Jr.: She's not black!... I mean... she's pretty tan.
- Tony Soprano: I'm depressed.
- Carmela Soprano: I'm telling you. Don't you start now.
- Tony Soprano: What does that mean?
- Carmela Soprano: It means what it means. I have enough on my plate, I don't need you adding to it with your bullshit.
- Tony Soprano: Bullshit? It's an illness and it's fuckin' hereditary.
- Carmela Soprano: Thank you, I know. I am intimately acquainted with the Soprano curse. Your father, your uncle, your great-grandfather who drove the donkey cart off the road in Avellino, all of it.
- Tony Soprano: Oh, you think it's a joke?
- Carmela Soprano: Am I laughing?
- Tony Soprano: Well, then what are you sayin'?
- Carmela Soprano: He didn't get it from my family. That's all I'm gonna say.
- Tony Soprano: Your family don't even talk. Your father's so bottled up it's a wonder he's even got a stomach left.
- Carmela Soprano: Yeah, as opposed to yours.
- Tony Soprano: At least my father was out front about what was botherin' him.
- Carmela Soprano: Right, with a bullet through your mother's beehive hairdo.
- Phil Leotardo: [to Tony, from his window] That's right, cocksucker! Go back to New Jersey!
- Little Carmine Lupertazzi: Phil, what are you doin'?
- Phil Leotardo: Take that piece of shit and get off my stoop!
- Little Carmine Lupertazzi: But we just talked about this.
- Phil Leotardo: Well, cooler heads prevailed.
- Little Carmine Lupertazzi: Uncle Philly!
- Phil Leotardo: Uncle Philly, my ass!
- Tony Soprano: [Tony enters the room and everybody becomes quiet] alright let's dispense with the five hundred pound elephant in the room, my kid tried to off himself we all fucking know, that's it? Nobody's got nothing to say?
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: How's he doing?
- Tony Soprano: They got him "under observation" whatever the fuck that means
- [to himself]
- Tony Soprano: stupid fuck, where did I lose this kid?
- [to everybody]
- Tony Soprano: what did I do wrong?
- Silvio Dante: Don't blame yourself
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: A lot of pressure on kids today
- Tony Soprano: It's enough for him to try to kill himself?
- Bobby 'Bacala' Baccalieri: It happens
- Tony Soprano: [to Bobby] did it happen to your kids?
- [to patsy]
- Tony Soprano: or yours?
- Patsy Parisi: They're all different my son Patrick I love him to death but he can be a moody prick sometimes
- Silvio Dante: When heather was fifteen she went through a rough patch
- Patsy Parisi: Jason same thing, his got the hyperactivity to boot
- Carlo Gervasi: My son too, the older one James
- Paulie Walnuts: He tried to kill himself?
- Carlo Gervasi: No, I don't know he gets the blues
- Silvio Dante: The important thing is AJ is getting the help he needs, whatever it is I'm sure it's just a chemical imbalance
- Paulie Walnuts: If you ask me it's all these toxins the kids are exposed to, it fucks with their brains, between the Mercury in fish alone, it's a wonder why there's even more kids jumping off bridges
- Anthony Soprano, Jr.: [to Carmela] You know, it's always what you think, isn't it? It's never how I feel.
- Tony Soprano: Oh, poor you. It's all your mother fault, isn't it?
- Anthony Soprano, Jr.: I didn't say that.
- Tony Soprano: You're a mama's boy.
- Tony Soprano: [Referring to AJ's suicide attempt] Why me huh?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Why not you?
- Tony Soprano: Because I'm a good guy basically, I love my family. There's a balance: there's a Ying, there's a Yang. You think you know, you think you learn something, like when I got shot
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Know what?
- Tony Soprano: Alright when I was Las Vegas I took peyote, I was curious I don't know
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: You were searching for something?
- Tony Soprano: I saw some "things", not "things", per se hallucinations Roger Corman shit. It was kind of disappointing, it wasn't any of that
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What was there?
- Tony Soprano: It's kind of hard to describe, I mean you've done that right? Acid?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: No
- Tony Soprano: [after sighing] all I can say is I saw for pretty certain that everything we see and experience, is not all there is
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: What else is there?
- Tony Soprano: Something else. That's as far I can go with it. I don't fuckin know
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: Alternate universes?
- Tony Soprano: You're going to be a comedian now?
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: I'm not
- Tony Soprano: Maybe this is going to sound stupid but at one point that our mothers are bus drivers, no they are the bus, see? They're the vehicle that gets us here. They drop us off and go on their way. They continue on their journey and the problem is we keep trying to get back onto the bus. Instead of just letting it go
- Dr. Jennifer Melfi: That's very insightful
- Tony Soprano: Jesus don't act so surprised
- Kelli Moltisanti: [while having dinner] I used to love that house, but now... it's so big, especially at night
- Tony Soprano: You know if you're afraid, all you gotta do is call, aright? Two minutes, I'll be over
- Kelli Moltisanti: [to him and Carmela] I know, you've been so great: both of you
- Carmela Soprano: Meadow had another mystery date
- Kelli Moltisanti: That sounds exciting
- Tony Soprano: [to AJ] What're you doing? Sit
- Carmela Soprano: I made your favorite: Steak Pizzaiola
- Anthony Soprano, Jr.: You know they spray virus on beef, rather than clean out the rat shit out of the slaughter houses?
- Carmela Soprano: [surprised] What is this now?
- Tony Soprano: [irritated] Jesus Christ
- Anthony Soprano, Jr.: It's true, read the paper
- Tony Soprano: I do read the paper: never heard that
- Anthony Soprano, Jr.: I'm not talking about the sports page and the FDA, they approved a virus spray because it kills a similar bacteria found on meat
- Tony Soprano: Must be a good thing then?
- Anthony Soprano, Jr.: Yeah, for the meatpackers: the fucking God and the bottom line
- Tony Soprano: [gestures to Kelli and Caitlin, referring to Christopher's death] That's enough, we're trying to eat here and your upsetting people that been through a tragedy
- Anthony Soprano, Jr.: Fine, bury your head in the sand
- Tony Soprano: [angrily] How about I bury your head in that fuckin wall instead?
- Carmela Soprano: Tony...
- Tony Soprano: [yells to AJ as AJ walks away, referring to AJ's lack of academic discipline, sarcastically] Twenty years he won't crack a book, all of a sudden, he's the world's foremost authority!
- Carmela Soprano: Well, at least his getting an education
- Tony Soprano: An education is getting a better job
- Carmela Soprano: His actually reading: this can't be bad
- Tony Soprano: [while in Satriale's] You don't look so good
- Agent Dwight Harris: [referring to the stress his going through] This job
- Tony Soprano: want a sandwich, Cannoli, on the house?
- Agent Dwight Harris: [shakes his head, referring to his diagnosis] Microbe virus from Pakistan
- Tony Soprano: [confused] Still?
- Agent Ron Goddard: Got a minute? We'd like to show you some pictures
- Tony Soprano: [jokingly] Angelina Jolie, I hope?
- Agent Ron Goddard: [when Harris shows Tony pictures of Ahmed and Muhammad] These the gentlemen?
- Tony Soprano: That's them
- Tony Soprano: [after Harris quickly puts the photos away] What the fuck? What?
- Agent Ron Goddard: Don't know, financing maybe?
- Tony Soprano: [surprised] "Maybe"?
- Agent Dwight Harris: Yeah, honestly, I don't even know if we still have them in the country
- Little Carmine Lupertazzi: [when Tony and Carmine show up at Phil's home] Butch, how are ya?
- Butch DeConcini: Phil's not accepting any visitors right now
- Little Carmine Lupertazzi: I just talked to him on the phone
- Butch DeConcini: I just talked to him in person: he ain't seeing nobody
- Little Carmine Lupertazzi: [before gesturing to Tony] what's going on Butch? I just "brokered" this "thing." He came here making a peace offering: a semi trail of drills: Makitas
- Butch DeConcini: we don't want your fuckin drills
- Tony Soprano: [pats Carmine on his shoulder] fuck it, let's go
- Tony Soprano: [when seeing her opening a parcel] What's that?
- Carmela Soprano: I got a mysterious package: postmarked Las Vegas
- Carmela Soprano: [after opening the gift box, reading the brand name, and seeing the expensive watch] Baume & Mercier, oh my God, this is so beautiful
- Tony Soprano: [shows her the inscription on the back of the watch] I had it engraved, here
- Carmela Soprano: [reading the engraving] You are my life, love T
- Tony Soprano: [referring to the limited space on the watch] they couldn't fit Tony
- Carmela Soprano: [jokingly, pats him on the stomach] I believe that, thank you but I don't know what it's for?
- Tony Soprano: Like I said, I was sorry I had to go out to Vegas when I did
- Carmela Soprano: Once you said you had to take care of Christopher's business interests, God knows Kelli will need the money: the baby
- Tony Soprano: [referring to the story of his father shooting a bullet through his mother's beehive hair style out of anger] Oh, I knew it, I was wondering how it gonna take before you threw that up at me?
- Carmela Soprano: Your amazing, you know that? In high school you were the happy go lucky rascal, the comedian, the rapscallion, but all of that was bullshit, wasn't it?
- Tony Soprano: [sarcastically] Oh, poor you, you got married under false pretenses
- Carmela Soprano: You've been playing the depression card until it's worn to shreds, now you've got our son doing it
- Tony Soprano: [raises his voice, surprised] Card?
- Carmela Soprano: You heard me
- Tony Soprano: Oh, it's all me, huh? Our sonny boy? You had nothing to do with it?
- Carmela Soprano: It wears you down is all I'm saying, do you have any idea what it's like to spend day after day with someone who's constantly complaining?
- Tony Soprano: [before she throws the expensive watch, he bought her at him] Fuck you!
- Salvatore 'Coco' Cogliano: [after walking up to their table] excuse me, your Tony Soprano's kid, right?
- Meadow Soprano: yeah
- Salvatore 'Coco' Cogliano: small world running into you like this, huh?
- Meadow Soprano: I'm sorry, do I know you?
- Salvatore 'Coco' Cogliano: [rubs his finger on her chin] you got a little cream on your mouth there, sweetie, be happy to add to it
- Meadow Soprano: [disgusted] what?
- Patrick Parisi: [irritated, to Coco] excuse me
- Salvatore 'Coco' Cogliano: [to Patrick] lucky guy her dad, must be fun tucking her in, eh?
- Patrick Parisi: [stands up from his chair to face Coco directly] do we have a problem?
- Salvatore 'Coco' Cogliano: not yet, would you like one?
- Phil Leotardo: [referring to Kelli, during a sit down] Your nephew's widow, did she get my flowers?
- Tony Soprano: If you sent them, I'm sure she did
- Phil Leotardo: Well, I won't be expecting a thank you any time soon: the grieving process takes time, the closer you are to somebody
- Tony Soprano: [nods] Yeah, I know
- Phil Leotardo: [referring to the issue they need to discuss] So, "brass tacks", what brings you out to the city?
- Tony Soprano: Good news: the condos at the navy yard, Paulie's guy at the joint fitters, says their breaking ground
- Phil Leotardo: That's good
- Tony Soprano: Good. The other thing, the asbestos, I thought about your "offer", what'd you say to fifteen percent, plus we forget about the balance on what you owe me on vitamin truck?
- Phil Leotardo: First off, it wasn't an "offer", it's my "position", twenty five percent
- Tony Soprano: That's it?
- Phil Leotardo: What else would you like me to say?
- Tony Soprano: Come on, what's the problem? I come here in good faith, I make a "reasonable" offer
- Phil Leotardo: Which I considered and rejected
- Tony Soprano: Do we need to talk in private?
- Phil Leotardo: For what?
- Dr. Richard Vogel: you must've seen fights before, your friends beating up the African kid, why do you think it's been impossible to shake?
- Anthony Soprano, Jr.: they had my back with all the shit with Blanca: they care about me
- Dr. Richard Vogel: did you try to stop the beating?
- Anthony Soprano, Jr.: I'm one individual, what could I do? I know kids on Lexapro and they say it's great and I still feel like shit, why can't I catch a fuckin break?
- Dr. Richard Vogel: your classes, how are you enjoying those?
- Anthony Soprano, Jr.: English is boring, the other is kind of interesting but it's pretty depressing
- Dr. Richard Vogel: the Israeli Palestinian conflict?
- Anthony Soprano, Jr.: people blowing each other up because their God says their allowed to live in a certain patch of fuckin sand and other people's God says their supposed to live there. Maybe I shouldn't have taken it?
- Dr. Richard Vogel: you seem to be taking it all personally?
- Anthony Soprano, Jr.: these Mujahideen assholes, like in Indonesia, they wanna kill everybody
- Dr. Richard Vogel: have you considered writing about your experience with this Somali boy? A short story perhaps?
- Anthony Soprano, Jr.: why would I do that?
- Dr. Richard Vogel: it might help clarify your feelings?