Megamind (2010)

Jonah Hill: Tighten

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Hal : You're so pathetic! No matter what side you're on, you're always the loser!

  Megamind : There's a benefit to losing: You get to learn from your mistakes.

• [a giant hologram of Megamind's head appears in the sky above Metro City] 

  Megamind : YOU DARE CHALLENGE MEGAMIND?

  Titan : This town isn't big enough for TWO super-villains!

  Megamind : Oh, you're a villain, alright! Just not a SUPER one!

  Titan : Oh, yeah? What's the difference?

  [Megamind's giant hologram head opens its mouth and from the inside appears Megamind] 

  Megamind : PRESENTATION!

• Titan : [on TV]  Hey, Metro losers! This is Metro Tower! They say it's supposed to be a symbol of our city's strength...

  [shows Roxanne tied to the tower] 

  Titan : ...but for me, it's a reminder of the day this woman ferociously ripped out my heart! And I hate reminders!

  [rips out part of the tower's foundation, swaying it] 

  Roxanne Ritchi : HAL! Please don't do this. I know there's still good in you, Hal...

  Titan : You're so naive, Roxy. You see the good in everyone, even when it's not there. You're living a fantasy. There is no Easter Bunny. There is no Tooth Fairy. There is no Queen of England. This is the real world, and you need to wake up!

• Titan : Pretty sneaky, sis, but there's only one person I know that calls this town "Metrocity".

  Megamind : Oops...

  Titan : You!

• Titan : This is the last time you make a fool out of me!

  Megamind : I made you a hero, you did the fool thing ALL BY YOURSELF!

• Megamind : I can't believe you! All your gifts, and you squander them for your own personal gain?

  Titan : Yes!

  Megamind : No! I'm the villain, you're the good guy! I do something bad, then you come and get me! That's why I created you!

  Titan : Yeah right, you're nuts! Space Dad told me...

  Megamind : Look, I'm your Space Dad!

  [transforms into Space Dad] 

  Megamind : You should be more like Metro Man.

  Titan : [screams]  You tricked me?

  Megamind : Don't like that, hmm? Well there's more!

  [transforms into Bernard as he slowly backs up into his giant robot battle suit] 

  Megamind : I'm also the intellectual dweeb dating Roxanne.

  Titan : No!

  Megamind : And we were smooching up a storm!

  [makes kissing noises as he closes his giant robot battle suit] 

• [Megamind flips TV channels in prison] 

  Titan : [on TV]  Hey, Megamind, you and I have unfinished business! I'll be waiting at Metro Tower, oh, and just so you don't get cold feet...

  [reveals a captured Roxanne] 

  Megamind : Roxanne!

  Titan : Come on, Roxie, call for your hero to come rescue you!

  Roxanne Ritchi : Megamind... I don't even know if you're listening... but if you are, you can't give up! The Megamind I know would NEVER run from a fight, even if he knew he had no chance of winning! It was your best quality!... You need to be that guy, RIGHT now. The City needs you... I need you.

  Megamind : Roxanne...

  Titan : You have one hour. DON'T keep me waiting!

• Hal : If I were Metro Man, Megamind wouldn't be kidnapping you all the time.

  Roxanne Ritchi : Hmmm...?

  Hal : And I'd be watching you, like a dingo watches a human baby!... Okay, that sounded a little creepy...

  Roxanne Ritchi : JUST a little.

• Titan : [hitting Megamind]  This is for stealing my girlfriend! This one's for Space Dad making a fool out of me! And Megamind, this one's for Space Stepmom! You lied to her!

• Megamind : [fighting Titan]  Now it's time for some witty back-and-forth banter! You go first!

  Titan : AAARRRRGGGGHHHH!

  Megamind : Okay, I don't know where to go with that...

• Megamind : Well done! I thought that battle went really, really well! I mean, I have a few notes...

  Titan : Notes?

  Megamind : But they can wait. You can take me to jail now.

  Titan : Oh no no no, I was thinking more like the morgue! You're dead!

  Megamind : Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! This isn't how you play the game...!

  Titan : GAME OVER!

• Roxanne Ritchi : Happy Metro Man Day, Metro City! It's a beautiful day in beautiful downtown, where we're here to honour a beautiful man: Metro Man. His heart is an ocean that's inside a bigger ocean. For years, he's been watching us with his super-vision, saving us with his super-strength and caring for us with his super-heart. Now it's our turn to give something back. This is Roxanne Ritchi, reporting live from the dedication of the Metro Man Museum.

  [gestures to her cameraman Hal to cut] 

  Hal : Wow. Okay, the stuff they make you read on air, that's un-freaking-believable! It's crazy!

  Roxanne Ritchi : I wrote that piece myself, Hal!

  Hal : What I was trying to say WAS, I can't believe that in our modern society, they let like, actual art get onto the news!

  Roxanne Ritchi : Nice save, Hal.

• Titan : Say bye-bye, Roxy!

  Megamind : [appears]  Ollo!

• Megamind : [disguised as Space Dad]  You've been blessed, with unfathomable powers!

  Hal : What kind of power?

  Megamind : Unfathomable. It's like, uh, without fathom...

• Megamind : [disguised as Metro Man]  Going somewhere? Besides jail?

  [grabs Titan] 

  Titan : Whoa, dude, not in the face! Plese!

  Megamind : If you know what's good for you, Titan, you'll stay out of Metrocity!

  Titan : Got it!

  Megamind : For good!

• [fleeing from Titan] 

  Megamind : I'm calling time out! Time out! Time out!

  [the chaos from the chase causes an oil tanker to explode, throwing Megamind onto the road] 

  Megamind : Brain bots! Initiate the failsafe!

  [Titan is about to punch Megamind, when a round, hollow shell lands on top of Titan, trapping him] 

  Megamind : [laughs]  Guess what, Buster Brown? It's made from copper! You're powerless against it! It's the very same metal used to defeat...

  [Titan punches a hole in the sphere] 

  Megamind : ...Metro Man?

  Titan : [rips himself free]  You should stop comparing me to Metro Man!

  [Titan throws the sphere at Megamind] 

• Hal : Who are you?

  Megamind : I sent you to this planet to teach you about honor, justice, and nobility. I am your father.

  Hal : So... you're like my space dad?

  Megamind : ...Yeah. I'm like your space dad.

  Hal : [to Minion]  And you are... what?

  Minion : I'm your space stepmom! I've had some work done recently.

• [Titan tosses Roxanne over a building] 

  Titan : [catching Roxanne]  What were you saying? I'm sorry, I was too busy saving your life!

• Titan : Whoa, you almost died but I saved you!

• Megamind : Hal Shtuart! Destiny has summoned you to heroics! Hal Shtuart? Am... Am I saying it right, Minion?

  Minion : It's "Stewart", sir.

  Hal : Is this a robbery? Because the lady across the hall has way better stuff!

• Titan : I'm the superhero, you're supposed to be with ME!

• Hal : [pulling out a small spandex suit]  Do I have a son?

  Megamind : Ha, you make me laugh! It stretches, it's for you.

  Hal : What's the T stand for?

  Megamind : Titan.

  Hal : [mishearing]  Tighten? What's that supposed to mean?

  Megamind : It was the only name I could trademark.

  Hal : Oh.

• [last lines] 

  Titan : [dancing in prison]  I'm bad! I'm bad! That's right! YEAH!

• Titan : I think you and I should team up.

  Megamind : Wait, what?

  Titan : Yeah! With my strength and your big-headedness, we could rule Metro City! I even drew up some new costume designs, see?

  [holds out some drawings] 

  Titan : You'd be the brain, so you'd get a little brain wearing glasses on your costume or something. And since I'm the cool one, I'd have, like, two tanks sword-fighting...

• Mayor : Thank you, hero, for defeating Megamind! What is your name?

  Titan : Tighten.

  Mayor : We owe you a great debt for having removed evil from our town!

  Titan : Oh, I wouldn't say removed... I'd say under new management!

  [flicks the Mayor in the forehead, which sends him flying backwards] 

• Titan : [to Roxanne]  You never got to know me!

• Titan : Look at us, we're fighting like an old married couple!

• Megamind : [disguised as Space Dad]  Do you have someone special in your life, Hal?

  Hal : No, not yet. But, there's this really, really good-looking one I've got my eye on currently.

  [uses his super vision to check up on Roxanne] 

  Megamind : That's very good. Romance is very inspiring.

  Hal : That's what I hear.

  Megamind : All you have to do is save her, and she'll be yours.

• Titan : Enjoy your flight!

  [hurls Megamind into the air] 

• Hal : What's wrong with me? "Rented a bouncy house?" Chicks don't like bouncy houses! They like clowns!