- Professor Barrett: [after hearing Betty read the graphic account of a Bear attack]
- [addressing the writing class]
- Professor Barrett: That is exactly what I want! Why can't the rest of you get attacked by a bear?
- Professor Barrett: This class is called Finding Your Voice. It's for serious writers, not emotionally stunted dilettantes. I expect you people to dig deeper. Open those old wounds. And if there are no old wounds, well, as I always say: If you have nothing to write, try killing yourself. If you fail, you'll have something to write about. If you succeed, your troubles will be over!