- Herb: Oh, Myra! This is Judith's first husband, Alan.
- Alan Harper: Hi.
- Myra: So, how does this work? Do you get your original testicles back, or does my brother give you his?
- Myra: [Charlie and Myra are about to have sex] I don't want to put any pressure on you, but... I'm a virgin.
- Charlie Harper: [incredulous] You are?
- Myra: You've got to stop sleeping with dumb girls. It's starting to rub off on you.
- Alan Harper: You know, Charlie, there's a special section in hell reserved for people like you.
- Charlie Harper: That's good. Because I'd hate to have to stand on line.