- [Sam shoots Lincoln who remains unharmed]
- Sam: Somehow, I just knew that wasn't gonna work.
- Abe Lincoln: Shoot me once, shame on you. Shoot me twice, shame on me.
- Sam: Do you have any... potatoes in the likeness of Catholic saints?
- Bosco: [bad Russian accent] Nyet.
- Sam: Do you have any souvenir snowglobes from the Mystery Vortex?
- Bosco: Nyet.
- Sam: Do you have any Lobstah Fahts brand cereal?
- Bosco: Nyet.
- Sam: Do you have any Tagalog rhyming dictionaries, abridged?
- Bosco: Nyet.
- Sam: Do you have any wiener cozies?
- Bosco: Da. We just get shipment of those in this week. Let me look.
- Max: Oh boy!
- Bosco: [normal accent] Oh wait. Did you say "wiener cozies"? I thought you said "Navajo blankets". No, we're all out of wiener cozies.
- Sam: Do you have any Navajo blankets?
- Bosco: Nyet.