- Glenn: I"m gonna rip off your ears, and shove them up your butt just so you can hear me kickin' your ass!
- Glenn: I'm gonna kill you, Earl. I'm gonna rip off your face and wear it to the Ugly Ball.
- Earl Hickey: That's scary and hurtful, Glenn.
- Joy Turner: [at the Crab Shack] For the love of God, pick something!
- Randy Hickey: I'm sorry, I usually just order what Earl gets.
- Darnell Turner: Well Randy, I talked to the prison and they said Earl was having duck a l'orange and caviar pie. I think the guy was being facetious, but we don't have it anyway so it doesn't matter.