Californication (TV Series)

The Whore of Babylon (2007)

David Duchovny: Hank Moody

Photos 

Quotes 

• Hank Moody : What the fuck do you want?

  Mia Lewis : I'm late.

  Hank Moody : What? That's not possible. I...I...I...I...I...I...I wore a condom. That's... that would be like, uh, the immaculate conception. And you, you're the one who... y, you... and then you left.

  Mia Lewis : I'm late for school.

• Meredith : My baby.

  Hank Moody : You have a baby with married guy? Holy fuck!

  Meredith : No, my dog, Cat Stevens.

  Hank Moody : You have a dog named Cat Stevens? Holy fuck!

• [trying to lure a dog named Cat Stevens] 

  Hank Moody : Hey, Cat Stevens. C'mere, Cat. Come here. I'll take you away from all this. Cat... Yusuf Islam. Peace Train's a good song. C'mere, Cat. C'mere.

• Hank Moody : Do you ever have one of those days where you feel like a tired old whore whose uterus is about to fall out?

  Meredith : I think I'm in touch with that emotion.

  Hank Moody : Really? I was just being dramatic; do tell.

• Charlie Runkle : Hank, the whole idea behind the blog is an ongoing narrative, you understand? A series of events that follows another series of events.

  Hank Moody : I get that, I get that, I really do. I just can't whore myself out to the tall man anymore. You know, ongoing or not, I can't do it. Capiche?

  Charlie Runkle : Uh, with all due respect, Hank, grow the fuck up already, would you?

  Hank Moody : Come on, you're the lying cocksucker that got me in this in the first place. You set me up!

  Charlie Runkle : If by set you up, you mean contrive a situation in which you might actually start to produce words again, then, yes, okay, guilty as charged.

  Hank Moody : You - you should have told me what you were up to in the first place. That was bullshit.

  Charlie Runkle : You wouldn't have have done it, okay? You see what I'm getting at here?

  Hank Moody : Oh, fuck you! You're fired!

  Charlie Runkle : You know that you fired me roughly every ninety days since we started to work together.

  Hank Moody : Yeah, because I'm a consistent motherfucker.

  Charlie Runkle : All right, don't do this, Hank, okay? Not now. No other agent in their right mind would take you on at this point.

  Hank Moody : Ah...

  Charlie Runkle : And the ones who would wouldn't be able to get you a job doing kiddy porn.

  Hank Moody : Yeah, well, we'll see about that.