Shia LaBeouf: Sam Witwicky
Photos
Quotes
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Sam Witwicky : Bee, if you hate me I understand. I messed up. I'm sorry.
Bumblebee : [through his radio] "You are the person I care for most in my life, and if there is anything you need I won't be far away."
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Jetfire : Tell me, is that robot civil war still going on? Who's winning?
Sam Witwicky : The Decepticons.
[Jetfire grimaces and spits]
Jetfire : Well, I changed sides to the Autobots.
Sam Witwicky : What do you mean, changed sides?
Jetfire : It's a choice. It's an intensely personal decision. So much negativity... Who wants to live a life filled with hate?
Wheelie : You mean you don't have to work for those miserable freaking Decepticons?
Jetfire : If the Decepticons had their way, they'd destroy the whole universe!
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Sam Witwicky : Bee, I want to talk to you about the college thing, okay?
Bumblebee : [does a dance] "I'm so excited, / And I just can't hide it..."
Sam Witwicky : Hey! I'm not taking you with me!
[Bumblebee is downcast]
Mikaela Banes : I'm gonna wait outside...
[goes outside and starts to strip]
Sam Witwicky : Bumblebee, just hear me out okay? You know, freshmen aren't allowed to have cars, that's all it is. It is best for both of us. I know it doesn't sound like it but... you're an Autobot, you shouldn't be living in my dad's garage. I mean you're suffocating in here. Hey will you look at me please? Hey, come on big guy...
[gives Bumblebee a hug]
Sam Witwicky : Look, the guardian thing is done, okay? You did your job. It's over with. You've gotta be something else, you've got have a bigger purpose then just me, Bee! I can't be the end all deal in your life! I wanna be normal, I want to go to college. Everybody has this, and I should be able to experience this. And I can't do that with you.
[Bumblebee bursts into tears; literally, with his windscreen cleaners malfunctioning]
Sam Witwicky : Come on... it's not the last time I'm gonna see you, you know? Come on, don't do that... Bee, you're killing me...
[Bee angrily gesticulates to Sam to go away]
Sam Witwicky : You'll always be my first car man. I love you.
[leaves the garage]
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Leo Spitz : [about Simmons] You know him?
Sam Witwicky : We're old friends.
Agent Simmons : Old FRIENDS? You are the case that shut down Sector Seven. Now that it disbanded, no security clearance, no retirement, no nothing! All because of you!
[looks at Mikaela]
Agent Simmons : And your little criminal girlfriend. Look at her now, so mature.
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Mikaela Banes : Okay, so how do we stop him?
Jetfire : Only a Prime can defeat the Fallen.
Sam Witwicky : Optimus Prime?
[Jetfire leans forward to look at Sam]
Jetfire : So you've met a Prime? Why, you must have met a great descendant. Is he alive? Here, on this planet?
Sam Witwicky : He sacrificed himself to save me.
Jetfire : So he's dead. Without a Prime, it's impossible. No one else could have stopped the Fallen.
Sam Witwicky : So, the same energy that's gonna be used to reactivate the machine... could that energy somehow be used to reactive Optimus and bring him back to life?
Jetfire : It was never designed for that purpose, but it's an energy like no other.
Sam Witwicky : So, then how do you get us to the Matrix before the Decepticons get to me?
Jetfire : Follow your mind, your map, your symbols! What you carved in the sand, it's your clue: "When dawn lights the Dagger's Tip, Three Kings will reveal the doorway!" Find the doorway! Go now! GO! That was my mission! It's YOUR mission now! Go before the Decepticons find me and find you!
[Sam, Mikaela, Leo, Simmons, Bumblebee and the Twins leave]
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Sam Witwicky : Maybe we can help each other. You know things I don't know, I know things you don't know...
Leo Spitz : I don't think he knows what we know.
[Sam carves Cybertronian symbols into the ground with a dagger]
Sam Witwicky : I could do this all day. It comes in waves, these vivid symbols. They're symbols, but they're in my mind. You see, all this is in my mind, and Megatron want what's in my mind, him and someone called the Fallen...
Jetfire : The Fallen? I know him. He left me here to rust! The original Decepticon! He's terrible to work for, it's always apocalyose, chaos, crisis...
[scrutinizes the symbols]
Jetfire : These transcriptions, they were part of my mission! The Fallen's search... I remember now!... for the Dagger's Tip, a-and the Key!
Sam Witwicky : Slow down! The Dagger's Tip? The Key? What are you talking about?
Jetfire : [activating a space bridge] No time to explain! Hold on, everybody! Stay still or you'll die!
[Humans and robots vanish into a flare of light, they all fall in the sand as they arrive in Egypt]
Jetfire : Well, that wasn't so bad. I just hope we're still on the right planet.
Wheelie : [tumbling] Hey, that freaking hurt!
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Wheelie : I will have so many Decepticons on your butt!
Mikaela Banes : [brings out blowtorch] Hey, behave!
Sam Witwicky : What is it, a Decepticon?
Mikaela Banes : Yeah.
Sam Witwicky : And you're training him?
Mikaela Banes : I'm trying to.
Agent Simmons : I spent my whole adult life combing the planet for aliens, and you're carrying around one in your purse like a little Chihuahua.
Wheelie : Huh? Do you want a throwdown, you pubic 'fro-head?
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Leo Spitz : HEY! Who drove a freaking yellow Camaro? There's a car on the porch!
[Sam rushes out to see Bumblebee outside]
Sam Witwicky : What are you doing here?
Bumblebee : [through his radio] "Houston, we have a problem."
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Jetfire : What do you want?
Sam Witwicky : Look, we just want to talk!
Jetfire : I've got no time to talk, I'm on a mission! I'm a mercenary doom-bringer!... What planet am I on?
Sam Witwicky : Earth.
Jetfire : Earth? Terrible name for a planet. Might as well call it DIRT, Planet Dirt...
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Megatron : There is another source of Energon hidden on this planet. The boy could lead us to it.
[Megatron sends Prime sprawling with a kick]
Sam Witwicky : OPTIMUS!
[Megatron blasts Optimus]
Megatron : Is the future of our race not worth a single human life?
Sam Witwicky : Up! GET UP!
Optimus Prime : You'll never stop at one!
[Surrounded by Decepticons, Optimus Prime unsheathes Energon blades]
Optimus Prime : I'll take you ALL on!
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Wheelie : I'm changing sides. I'm changing sides too, Warrior Goddess!
[climbs on Mikaela's foot]
Wheelie : Who's your little Autobot?
Mikaela Banes : Aww, you're cute...
Wheelie : Name's Wheelie. Yeah. Say my name, say my name...
Sam Witwicky : What are you allowing to happen to your foot just now?
Mikaela Banes : At least he's faithful, Sam.
Mikaela Banes : Yeah, well, he's faithful and he's nude and he's perverted. Can you just... Can you stop?
[pulls Wheelie off Mikaela]
Wheelie : Hey, what are you doing?
Sam Witwicky : Just stay right there, okay? I'm not gonna tell you again.
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Ron Witwicky : Sam!
Judy Witwicky : What?
Ron Witwicky : Sam!
Sam Witwicky : Mom! Dad!
[Rampage launches himself in front of Sam, tossing his parents around]
Sam Witwicky : Wait! WAIT!
Ron Witwicky : Sam, listen to me! I want you to run!
Sam Witwicky : Wait, wait, wai...
[Sam hears a whistle, and catches sight of a hidden Bumblebee...]
Sam Witwicky : Okay...
[holds up his sock]
Sam Witwicky : Okay, this is what you want... and I know you need me, 'cause I know about the Matrix...
Rampage : [growling] Sam Witwicky...
Ron Witwicky : Sam, just go!
Judy Witwicky : Sam, listen to your father!
Ron Witwicky : Sam, they're gonna kill us all anyway!
Sam Witwicky : Look, just come over here and take it, don't harm them... okay. BUMBLEBEE!
[Bumblebee jumps on Rampage]
Sam Witwicky : Take 'im down, Bee!
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Sam Witwicky : [to Alice and Leo as they enter the room to find he's written in Cybertronian all over the walls] Hey! You ever have a song stuck in your head? Its like the worst song ever, but you cant help but whistle it or sing it cause it repeats itself, repeats itself, repeats itself, repeats itself, repeats itself, repeats itself. Kitten calendar, kitten calendar, kitten calendar, kitten calendar, kitten calendar, kitten calendar, kitten calendar.
Leo Spitz : Dude, what the eff?
Sam Witwicky : I know you're freaking out. Don't freak out. Don't freak out. Easy fix. Puzzle code in my head. Now it's on the walls. Everything is good.
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Sam Witwicky : You won't give me a day, huh? You won't give me one day in college?
Optimus Prime : I'm sorry, Sam, but the last fragment of the All Spark was stolen.
Sam Witwicky : Like what? Like Decepticons stole it?
Optimus Prime : We placed it under human protection at your government's request... but I'm here for your help, Sam, because your leaders believe we brought vengeance upon your planet. Perhaps they are right. That is why they must be reminded by another human of the trust we share.
Sam Witwicky : This isn't my war!
Optimus Prime : Not yet. But I fear it soon will be. Your world must not share the same fate as Cybertron. Whole generations lost...
Sam Witwicky : I know, and I want to help you, I do, but I am not some alien ambassador, you know? I'm a normal kid with normal problems. I am where I'm supposed to be. I'm sorry, I... I really am.
Optimus Prime : Sam, fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing.
Sam Witwicky : You're Optimus Prime. You don't need me.
[Sam walks away]
Optimus Prime : We do, more than you know.
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Mikaela Banes : [to Wheelie] I'm sorry, I'm so sorry about your eye. But if you're a good boy, then I'm not gonna put out your other eye. I'm not gonna hurt you. Just tell me what these symbols are, please...
Wheelie : [examines the documents] Oh... oh, I know that, that's the language of the Primes! I don't read it, but these guys... Where the frick did you find photos of these guys?
Sam Witwicky : Is this them?
Wheelie : Yeah! Seekers, pal! Oldest of the old! They've been here for thousands of years, looking for something. I don't know what, nobody tells me nothing. But they'll translate those symbols for you. And I know where to find them!
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Sam Witwicky : Look, I am slowly losing my mind, okay? I had a little crab bot plug in to my brain and start projecting little alien symbols like a freaking home movie! And on top of that, I am a wanted fugitive! So you think you got it rough?
Agent Simmons : You said it projected images from your brain?
Sam Witwicky : Yeah.
Agent Simmons : Meat locker, now!
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Skids : Oh, look who came sashaying back.
Mudflap : Hair growing like a Chia Pet, look at him.
Leo Spitz : I had a bit of a mild panic attack earlier, right?
Mudflap : That's 'cause you're a pussy.
Leo Spitz : I think I'm allowed that, considering what I've been through.
[directs attention to Sam]
Leo Spitz : Hey, you say you have in your head? I know someone who can help.
Sam Witwicky : Who?
Leo Spitz : RoboWarrior.
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Sam Witwicky : I'm sorry, what were you saying?
[Jetfire thrusts himself right in their faces, making them fall over]
Jetfire : I told you my name was Jetfire! So stop judging me!
Wheelie : Whoa, somebody shit the bed this morning!
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Jetfire : Somewhere buried in this desert, our ancestors built a great machine. It harvests Energon by destroying suns.
Sam Witwicky : Destroy suns?
Leo Spitz : You mean blow them up?
Jetfire : Yes! You see, in the beginning, there were seven Primes, our original leaders. And they set out into the universe, seeking distant suns to harvest. The Primes set out with one rule: never destroy a planet with life. Until one of them tried to defy this rule. And his name was, forevermore, the Fallen...
[projects a hologram and narrates the events seen within]
Jetfire : He despised the human race, and he wanted to kill you all by turning on that machine. The only way to activate it is with a legendary key called the Matrix of Leadership. A great battle took place over the possession of the Matrix. The Fallen was stronger than his brothers, so they had no choice but to steal and hide it from him. In the ultimate sacrifice, they gave their lives to seal the Matrix away in a tomb made of their very own bodies. A tomb we cannot find.
[shuts off the hologram]
Jetfire : Somewhere, buried in this desert, that deadly machine remains. The Fallen knows where it is, and if he finds the Tomb of the Primes, you world will be no more.
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[At dawn, Sam looks up in the sky and makes a discovery]
Sam Witwicky : [points at a cluster of stars] See those stars, see how the last one touches the horizon? That's Orion's Belt. It's also called the Three Kings, the reason for that is because the three Egyptian kings who ruled in Giza built them to mirror those stars. So, it's like an arrow staring you in the face...
Agent Simmons : They all point due east, towards Jordan. The mountains of Petra...
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Sam Witwicky : Bee, get in the garage! NOW!
Bumblebee : [through his radio] "Whatever!"
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Megatron : Dotor, examine this alien specimen...
[the Doctor transforms and crawls on Sam]
Doctor : I'll scan you. Let's take a look at your face. I'm ze Doctor. Ze oddjob. Information!
[shoves a probe down Sam's throat, and acquires readings from a hologram]
Megatron : Oh, there they are...
Sam Witwicky : What?
Megatron : These symbols can lead us to the Energon source!
Doctor : We must have ze brain on ze table! Chop chop!
Sam Witwicky : Brain? What does he mean by my brain?
Megatron : Well, you have something on your mind, something I need...
Sam Witwicky : Hold on, I know you're pissed, I know you're pissed because I tried to kill, you and it's completely understandable! If somebody tried to kill me, I'd be upset too! I think we have an oppurtunity here to start anew, and-and develop our relationship, and see what it leads us, okay? So, you just call the Doctor Inspector off and let's just talk for five seconds!
[the Doctor pulls out a buzzsaw]
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Leo Spitz : That's it! No mas! I'm not going anywhere, all right? And you guys are crazy! You don't even know where you're going! I'm staying! Who's with me, huh?
[no response]
Leo Spitz : Viva la revolution!
Mikaela Banes : Good luck, Leo.
Sam Witwicky : Enjoy the heat!
Agent Simmons : You're better off staying, you're slowing down the mission. I give you twenty minutes before the vultures start pecking at you like lunch meat! Try swallowing your tongue, go out quickly. End it with dignity.
[Everyone gets in the car and leaves]
Leo Spitz : Wait, wait, wait! Don't leave me with this old-ass plane... WAIT!
[runs after the convoy]
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[Sam and Mikaela discover Simmons working in a diner]
Sam Witwicky : You gotta be kidding me...
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Megatron : Come here, boy. Closer... You remember me, don't you?
Sam Witwicky : I'll do what you say, all right? Just don't hurt them...
Megatron : SHUT UP!
[flicks Sam through a wall and onto a table]
Megatron : [pinning Sam down] It feels good to grab your flesh! I am going to kill you slowly, painfully, but first, we have some delicate work to do. How could I snap your limbs off!
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[in the middle of the Egyptian desert]
Leo Spitz : [looking around] Hey, I think we're in Vegas!
Agent Simmons : That really, really hurt. You're just lucky that I didn't get hurt! People could have gotten killed, okay? And if I would have gotten hurt, you would have heard...
Jetfire : Oh, shut up! I told you I was opening a space bridge, it's the fastest way to travel to Egypt.
Sam Witwicky : [his hand injured and bandaged] When did you... When did you tell us? You didn't tell us anything. You didn't tell us anything. Why are we in Egypt?
Jetfire : Don't you get snippy with me, fleshling! You were duly informed!
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Optimus Prime : Thank you, Sam, for saving my life.
Sam Witwicky : You're welcome. Thank you for believing in me.
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Mikaela Banes : You're the best thing that ever happened to me.
Sam Witwicky : And?
Mikaela Banes : I'd do anything for you.
Mikaela Banes : And?
Judy Witwicky : [watching intently] He's about to say the L-word?
Ron Witwicky : [impatient] Come on, kiddo.
Sam Witwicky : I... adore you.
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[Sam appears back in college]
Professor Colan : So glad you could join us, Professor Einstein.
Sam Witwicky : Yeah, I was kinda busy. Okay.
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Sam Witwicky : [on the phone with Mikeala] I just read a 903-page astronomy book in 32.6 seconds. I had a meltdown in the middle of my class. I am seeing symbols ever since I...
Mikaela Banes : Since what?
Sam Witwicky : Ever since I touched the Cube splinter.
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Sam Witwicky : Hey, you know the glyphs? These? The symbols that have been rattling around in my head?
[shows the Twins the symbols he drew]
Skids : That's old school, yo. That's like... That's Cybertronian.
Mudflap : That's some serious stuff, right there.
Sam Witwicky : They gotta mean something, like a map or like map. Like a map to an Energon source! Can you read this?
Skids : Read?
Mudflap : No. We don't really do much reading. Not so much.
Sam Witwicky : If you can't read it, we gotta find somebody who can.
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[Sam, Mikaela and Leo are on the run from Decepticons]
Leo Spitz : Okay, so what else don't I know, all right? Since you guys forgot to mention some minor details.
Sam Witwicky : [to Leo] That thing that you saw back there, that was the little baby... WHHOOOAAAA!
[Grindor comes for them]
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[the Witwicky home is under siege by Decepticons]
Ron Witwicky : What was that?
Sam Witwicky : That's the whole kitchen!
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Ron Witwicky : Let's go. March, young lady!
[to his son's horror, Ron slaps his wife's derriere]
Judy Witwicky : I love it when you call me "young lady," you dirty old man.
[goes upstairs giggling]
Ron Witwicky : You ain't seen nothing yet...
Sam Witwicky : Dad, Dad, Dad, whoa!
Ron Witwicky : What?
Sam Witwicky : I'm watching what you're doing, Dad. It's not a rap video.
Ron Witwicky : It's just like a coach thing.
Sam Witwicky : That was a really creepy move just now, Dad.
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[Leo dials on a cellphone]
Sam Witwicky : What're you doing?
Leo Spitz : Making a call so I can get outta here!
[Sam snatches the phone]
Sam Witwicky : Dude, the government can track us with these!
[breaks the phone]
Leo Spitz : They can track us?
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[Optimus, in truck mode and carrying Sam, is being chased by Megatron in tank mode]
Sam Witwicky : Here he comes!
[Megatron and Optimus Prime transform; Megatron tackles Prime just as Sam jumps out]
Optimus Prime : HIDE, SAM!
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Sam Witwicky : [about the kiss from Alice] You ever had your stomach tongued by a mountain ox with a five-foot tongue? It's fun for me, okay, Mikaela? And it smelled like... Like diesel! Like a diesel-y tinge to it!
Mikaela Banes : You're such a little girl!
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Ron Witwicky : You'll see that a lot in college, too.
Sam Witwicky : What are you talking about, Dad?
Ron Witwicky : There's gonna be a lot of women there.
Sam Witwicky : Yeah, well, I'm a one-woman kind of guy.
Ron Witwicky : Look, Mikaela's the greatest, but you gotta give each other room to grow, okay? You're no different than any other couple your age.
Sam Witwicky : Except we discovered an alien race together.
Ron Witwicky : [scoffs] How long you gonna ride that scooter?
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Sam Witwicky : You know what this is? This is the awkward moment. Yeah, see, you're trying to see if I'm a normal guy. I'm trying to see if you're a normal guy. Balanced, unmedicated, nothing under the crawl space.
Leo Spitz : Good personal hygiene, won't stab me in my sleep.
Sam Witwicky : No criminal record, won't steal anything.
Leo Spitz : Including girlfriends.
Sam Witwicky : Especially girlfriends.
Leo Spitz : You got a girlfriend?
Sam Witwicky : I do. You?
Leo Spitz : No, not a chance.
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Frat guy : Freshman!
Sam Witwicky : Yeah?
Frat guy : Is that your car in our bushes?
Sam Witwicky : No... uh, this is a friend of mine's, he just... went to go get you a tighter shirt...
Frat guy : There isn't a tighter shirt! We checked!
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Professor Colan : Young man, I will not be punk'd in front of the dean. No, this is my universe here. Do you understand me? I am the alpha and the omega. Get out of my class!
Sam Witwicky : Yes, sir.
[Sam leaves]
Professor Colan : Anyone else care to have some sort of mental breakdown?
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[from director's cut]
Sam Witwicky : Bumblebee, just hear me out okay? You know, freshmen aren't allowed to have cars, that's all it is. It is best for both of us. I know it doesn't sound like it but... you're an Autobot, you shouldn't be living in my dad's garage. I mean you're suffocating in here. Hey will you look at me please? Hey, come on big guy...
[gives Bumblebee a hug]
Sam Witwicky : Look, the guardian thing is done, okay? You did your job. It's over with. You've gotta be something else, you've got have a bigger purpose then just me, Bee! I can't be the end all deal in your life!
Bumblebee : What is YOUR purpose, Sam?
Sam Witwicky : I don't know. I... I wanna be normal, I want to go to college. Everybody has this, and I should be able to experience this. And I can't do that with you.
[Bumblebee bursts into tears; literally, with his windscreen cleaners malfunctioning]
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Sam Witwicky : You don't stop, you don't hide. You run. You understand me?
Ron Witwicky : No!
Sam Witwicky : You've gotta let me go. You've gotta let me go.
Judy Witwicky : Let him go.
Ron Witwicky : You come back! YOU COME BACK!
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[Sam shows Mikaela Bumblebee testing his vocal processors]
Mikaela Banes : Is he still having voice problems?
Sam Witwicky : He's playing it off.
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Sam Witwicky : Hey, beautiful! I made you a long-distance relationship kit... I got you a webcam so we can communicate 24/7!
Mikaela Banes : Sounds cute. I can't wait...
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[Mikaela dresses up in a fancy dress to surprise Sam]
Sam Witwicky : Wow!
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[to Mikaela]
Sam Witwicky : I love you.
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Mikaela Banes : It took all this to say you love me.
Sam Witwicky : You said it first.
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Sam Witwicky : I love it when you say "camshafts." Whisper it to me.
Mikaela Banes : Camshafts.
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Leo Spitz : [breaking down during the assault by the Decepticons] Oh, God. Please, God! Please...!
Mikaela Banes : Leo, stop freaking out, stop freaking out.
Agent Simmons : Shut this guy up, huh?
Leo Spitz : Please, just let me live, just let me live!
Mikaela Banes : Shut up and let him drive!
Sam Witwicky : Just stop screaming...
Agent Simmons : All right, that's it!
[tases Leo, rendering him unconscious]
Agent Simmons : I can't take that guy anymore.
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Leo Spitz : Okay, I'm just gonna go to the cops, all right? I'm going to tell the truth...
Sam Witwicky : Hey, you wanted this! You wanted the Real Deal? Wake up, you're in the MIDDLE of it! You want to go, nobody's in your way!
[Leo stares at Sam, at a loss of words]
Leo Spitz : Stop complaining!
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Judy Witwicky : [touring Sam's college] People are sure friendly here. Some kids just gave me this bag of brownies.
Sam Witwicky : Mom, that's not a brownie! Don't take it!
Judy Witwicky : Sam, I am your mother and I can do what I want!
Ron Witwicky : Honey! They baked it with reefer!
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Mikaela Banes : Guys always run when you say it first.
Sam Witwicky : Yeah, well, so do girls. Especially, girls like you with options.
Mikaela Banes : So this is all part of your elaborate plan to keep me interested?
Sam Witwicky : Can be.
Mikaela Banes : Ain't those working?
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Sam Witwicky : I work for you now? That's incredible. It's the first day of college, I got a career at a dinky internet firm with a boss who is made up of just pure champion stuff.
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Sam Witwicky : [after Bumblebee sprays Alice with fluid] I got Wetnaps. I got Wetnaps for your face!
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Sam Witwicky : Okay guys, low profile, all right?
Wheelie : Some of us have work to do! Dumb Autobots...
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Agent Simmons : [ripping off pants and throwing them to Sam] Hold those.
[he is wearing a jock strap]
Sam Witwicky : What is THAT?
Agent Simmons : What? Oh, I wear it when I'm in a funk. So does Giambi, Jeter... It's a baseball thing.
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Frat guy : How about I park my foot up your ass?
Sam Witwicky : What size shoe do you wear?
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[attacked by Alice]
Sam Witwicky : Tongue, tongue, tongue, tongue, tongue!
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Megatron : Is the future of our race not worth a single human life?
Sam Witwicky : Get up, GET UP!
Optimus Prime : You'll never stop at one, ILL TAKE YOU ALL ON!
