- Johnny Carson: [introducing Tony Randall] Tony will be appearing on A Night of a Hundred Stars - do we have a list of the other ninety-nine that we'll read? No, I suppose not; it's a three-hour special. That's way too long.
- Johnny Carson: [responding to an off-camera remark] What? That's way too long... oh, it's on *this* network!
- Ed McMahon: Oh, it's a *great* special!
- Johnny Carson: They should do *four* hours! It airs right here on NBC, a big three-hour show; it'll seem just like four!
- [audience laughter]
- Carnac the Magnificent: He understands.
- Ed McMahon: He understands.
- Carnac the Magnificent: [opens envelope and pulls out the card] Where Jimmy Hoffa?
- [mild audience reaction]
- Carnac the Magnificent: ... He under stands.
- [handed another card by Ed]
- Carnac the Magnificent: Ahh... .
- Ed McMahon: We have, uh, several more to go...
- [audience laughter]
- Johnny Carson: Advertisers prey on your fears. That's why they sell products. Do you use a deodorant at all?
- Tony Randall: Yes.
- Johnny Carson: Now, why do you use a deodorant?
- Tony Randall: ... I don't know, because...
- Johnny Carson: Most people, because, now, most people do not need to use an underarm deodorant if you take-
- [a couple audience members sound disgusted]
- Johnny Carson: Oh, listen to me. If you bathe every day regularly, normally only a few people have that problem. That's true.
- [more audience noises]
- Johnny Carson: Oh, come on. You see? You've been brainwashed.
- [audience laughter]
- Tony Randall: That's right.
- Johnny Carson: Or arm-washed, one of the two. That's true. If you bathe and take normal hygienic procedures, it's not necessary to use a deodorant.
- Tony Randall: And some of us think that people smell better without it.
- [more audience disgust noises]
- Johnny Carson: The smelly group up here, what do you think?
- [audience laughter]