- Jaime Sommers: I mean you got a pretty big investment in your bionic woman here, kiddo. I probably cost as much as Steve did.
- Oscar Goldman: Well not quite six million, I mean your parts are smaller.
- Jaime Sommers: Oscar, If I don't get an assignment from you very soon, I'm just gonna show up and I'm gonna kick your door down.
- Oscar Goldman: Ah, you're just the one that can do it.
- Jaime Sommers: And don't you forget it.
- Attendant: You see, I only have one position open, but it's not exactly the easiest. As a matter of fact, they've, eh, managed to chewed up four substitutes in three months.
- Jaime Sommers: Phew! Sounds like it's going to be a challenge.
- Attendant: I hope you've got a couple of good solid legs to stand on.
- Jaime Sommers: Well, as a matter of fact I do.
- Helen Elgin: [Jaime has just opened a tin can using her finger nails] Incredible. You don't happen to have an extra set of those nails, do you?
- Jaime Sommers: No, but I'll have Rudy check the parts department for ya, see what he can come up with.
- Karen Stone: You know they gave you the dirty dozen?
- Jaime Sommers: I know! Are they really as bad as they said?
- Karen Stone: Not really. They're just into preadolescence, so, they're a little more outspoken than some of the other classes.
- Jaime Sommers: How did you and I first meet?
- Col. Steve Austin: Well, it was my first day in the third grade and you dared me to eat one of everything in the cafeteria.
- Jaime Sommers: Did I? Did you?
- Col. Steve Austin: Yeah, I tried and I got pretty sick. But I got even with you right here on this swing.
- Jaime Sommers: Yeah, what'd you do, stick a frog down my back?
- Col. Steve Austin: [sits down on swing] No, it was a lizard.
- Jaime Sommers: Ew! That's an awful thing to do.
- Helen Elgin: [calling up the stairs] Anybody home?
- Jaime Sommers: [feeling happily self-satisfied at having landed a job at the school, and also feeling renewed confidence from having survived the first day without too much trouble] Nobody but us teachers!