House M.D. (TV Series)
97 Seconds (2007)
Hugh Laurie: Dr. Gregory House
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Quotes
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Dr. Gregory House : [to Henry] I think I will miss you most of all, Ridiculously Old Fraud.
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[handing over his cane to Amber]
Dr. Gregory House : Would you mind holding my metaphor for a second?
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Amber Volakis : Why did you call me?
Dr. Gregory House : Because if I pooped myself in front of Wilson, I'd never hear the end of it.
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Dr. Wilson : Just looking at you hurts. I was going to order up some extra pain meds.
Dr. Gregory House : I love you.
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Dr. Gregory House : I don't have to go to Detroit to know that it smells.
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Dr. Lawrence Kutner : Wait, how do you want us to split up?
Dr. Gregory House : Good question, Overly Excited Former Foster Kid. There's ten of you. I was thinking six against six. No, wait...
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Amber Volakis : Dr. House? I'd like to be on the men's team.
Dr. Gregory House : Do your sex organs dangle, Cutthroat Bitch?
Amber Volakis : Not yet.
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Thirteen : [last lines; to House] I know! Forget the lecture and fire me already!
Dr. Gregory House : If I was going to fire you, I wouldn't be giving you the lecture. I know you're not going to let anything like this ever happen again.
[pause]
Dr. Gregory House : I'll see you tomorrow.
[Thirteen leaves the room; House goes over to Stark's body]
Dr. Gregory House : And I'm sorry to say... I told you so.
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Dr. Gregory House : [to Brennan] Why are you here?
Dr. Travis Brennan : I want this job.
Dr. Gregory House : Parents sick?
Dr. Travis Brennan : No. I... I just...
Dr. Gregory House : [interrupts] This is not the job you want. This is the job in the zip code you want. You engaged?
Dr. Travis Brennan : Yes.
Dr. Gregory House : Ta-da!
Dr. Travis Brennan : Am I not allowed to grow up and change my priorities?
Dr. Gregory House : You're allowed to. People usually don't.
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Dr. Gregory House : [shouting over Cuddy to Wilson's office] Hey Wilson, I'm gonna cut some cripple's eye out! Wanna come watch?
Dr. Wilson : [opens office door] Good times.
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Dr. Jeffrey 'Big Love' Cole : [about Amber] She went rogue. Broke the rules.
Dr. Gregory House : You also sinned. You have no right to cast the first stone.
Dr. Jeffrey 'Big Love' Cole : And atheists have no right to quote Scripture.
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Amber Volakis : You're looking better. Stark's dead.
[House rolls his eyes and unclips himself]
Amber Volakis : What are you doing?
Dr. Gregory House : Going to see our patient.
Amber Volakis : He's dead.
Dr. Gregory House : Dead is not a diagnosis.
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Dr. Gregory House : I check this box, and your next roommates are gonna be Jesus and Crazy McLoonyBin.
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Dr. Gregory House : Who are you, Thirteen?
Thirteen : My name's in the file.
Dr. Gregory House : The fact that you won't answer my questions tells me more about you than answers could.
Thirteen : No, it doesn't. We turned the thing up to 95 degrees...
Dr. Gregory House : Do you think that non-answers tell me anything?
Thirteen : Sure. Just not as much as actual answers. That's why they are called answers.
Dr. Gregory House : Tell me you're hiding something.
Thirteen : Tells you I'm hiding everything.
Dr. Gregory House : Tells me you've got something worth hiding. Some Turkish prison, gay porn... you killed a man just because he was asking too many questions.
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Dr. Gregory House : [to Chase] I could have you fired!
Dr. Robert Chase : You've already had me fired.
Dr. Gregory House : Which proves that I can.
Dr. Robert Chase : Were the men wrong?
Dr. Gregory House : No. That doesn't change the fact...
Dr. Robert Chase : Why are you yelling at me?
Dr. Gregory House : Because performing tests for someone who is not a doctor in this hospital...
Dr. Robert Chase : You're frustrated. If you want help, I'm here. If you just need to vent, leave a message.
Dr. Allison Cameron : I like him better like this. You?
[House just glares]
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Dr. Wilson : [to House about Stark] Why can't you just let him have his fairy tale? If it gives him comfort to imagine beaches and loved ones and life outside a wheelchair...
Dr. Gregory House : Are there 72 virgins too?
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Dr. Gregory House : More interesting than evens versus odds. Less interesting than shirts against skins... If your sex organs dangle, you're the Confederates. If your sex organs are aesthetically pleasing, you're the Yanks.
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Stark : I already can't walk. I can't eat. You're telling me that the rest of my life is in this bed, puking and in pain?
Dr. Wilson : We can manage the pain.
Stark : I'd rather just get this over with. I've been trapped in this useless body long enough. It'd be nice to finally get out.
Dr. Gregory House : Get out and go where? You think you're gonna sprout wings and start flying around with the other angels? Don't be an idiot. There is no "after." There's just "this."
Dr. Wilson : House!