"Real Time with Bill Maher" Amy Klobuchar; Pramila Jayapal; Katie Couric; Van Jones; Bret Stephens (TV Episode 2020) - Bill Maher as Self - Host

Himself - Host : New rule: someone must tell researchers who recently concluded that yes, cats do have facial expressions, "Cool! Now do Kristen Stewart."
Himself - Host : New rule: these two fashion models have to stop looking at me like they're daring me to take a stab at a pronoun.
Himself - Host : New rule: seriously?

[laughter as a picture of a street light with both "no parking" and "1-hour" parking signs is shown]

Himself - Host : You know what? At this point, let's just replace these parking signs with a troll.

[laughter]

Himself - Host : Who tells you a riddle you can't figure out.

[laughter]

Himself - Host : "It is he who parks at three, but at four, will pay more."
Himself - Host : New rule: essential oils have to admit they're really not that essential.

[laughter]

Himself - Host : In fact, many people go their entire lives without experiencing sandalwood, so let's just admit there's only one oil that's truly essential: AstroGlide.

[laughter and applause]

Himself - Host : It's Valentine's Day! You see? It was... it was for Valentine's Day.
Himself - Host : New rule: stop...

[laughter as the viral photo of Trump and the tan line on his face is shown]

Himself - Host : Stop wondering what this is all about; I figured it out. It all makes sense now; the erratic behavior, the rambling speeches... that's not Trump, that's Nicolas Cage with Trump's face sewn on.

[laughter as the promotional poster of "Face/Off" is shown, with Trump's face pasted over Cage's]

Bill Maher: Self - Host