- Jack: I was partying pretty hard last week and my landlord told me that if I did it again, he'd kick me out.
- Sarah: So it's a foregone conclusion that you're getting kicked out.
- Jack: I might need to live in the Winnebago. Does anyone have a problem with that?
- Sarah: Yes! We have to split it! You can't live in it.
- Jack: How can we split the Winnebago?
- Caroline: Have you ever even been inside the Winnebago?
- Dave: LET'S ARM-WRESTLE FOR IT!
- Dave: Aunt Ethel...
- Mary Ann: What is with the geese?
- Dave: I see why you hated nature. Those geese are fucking up my speech for you! I had something prepared - it was gonna be great. But I blame the geese.
- Caroline: I live on a lake. I can't help it.
- Dave: Thanks for not being fat, Aunt Ethel. That has nothing to do with you.
- Caroline: Really?
- Dave: That was an unrelated thing that I had between me and my Great Aunt Ethel.
- Caroline: Really?
- Dave: Let me get this straight. You've gone from singing songs about French fries to singing songs about soda pop?
- Caroline: You know what? SHANK!
- Dave: What's next, nachos?
- Caroline: Ooo...
- Dave: Roast beef?
- Caroline: Shank.
- Dave: Hot dogs?
- Caroline: BFF.
- Dave: Omelettes?
- Caroline: BFF.
- Dave: Jalapeño poppers?
- Caroline: BFF.
- Dave: Chicken wings?
- Caroline: Shank.
- Dave: Meatloaf?
- Caroline: BFF.
- Dave: Dill relish?
- Caroline: On a sandwich or alone?
- Dave: Just out of the jar.
- Caroline: BFF.
- Dave: Tacos y burritos?
- Caroline: What?
- Dave: I was speaking Spanish.
- Jack: El burrito!
- Caroline: BFF. Burritos of any kind, BFF. Go on.
- Jack: Caroline, we have to get up the stairs.
- Caroline: No. I want to take an elevator.
- Jack: We can't take an elevator. We have to take the stairs.
- Caroline: I shank the stairs!
- Jack: You're shanking the stairs!
- Caroline: I shank stairs!
- Jack: All right, all right. We'll get you to an elevator.
- Caroline: Ow!
- Jack: Are those high heels made out of steel, or...?
- Jack: That makes no fucking sense. 'Crazi'? With an 'i'?
- Robert: Should we pronounce it differently?
- Caroline: It's so crazy that it's 'crazy' - with an 'i'. Like... 'crazy' with an 'i'.
- Jack: You need something better than 'crazy'.
- Caroline: Yeah! 'Crazy' with an 'i'!
- Robert: But why an 'i'?
- Jack: That's it? Just because? It's just 'crazy' with an 'i'.
- Caroline: Mmm-hmm.
- Robert: You want me to go first? I'll go first. Let me think... my favorite cousin story. Sarah - do remember that time you were drinking those drinks in Davis, I think. What were those...?
- Caroline: Wikki Wakki Woos.
- Robert: That's right - what were in those?
- Dave: Those were terrible!
- Caroline: That's because they were made for college girls who think Long Island Iced Teas are weak.
- Dave: My kind of college girls!
- Dave: I got you Pocahontie, the Indian Princess. She has a movable waist and... arms.
- Sarah: No movable legs?
- Dave: She doesn't need em. That's her way.
- Sarah: She has a crutch! And a gun! A giant gun!
- Dave: She likes to shoot with one hand and hobble with the other.
- Sarah: Thank you. I will treasure this always.