- J. Elvis Weinstein: Whatever you do, don't tell your friends what happens during the last five minutes of the first fourteen minutes of this movie.
- [first lines]
- Frank Conniff: Independent International Pictures. Making movies you've never heard of for over forty years.
- J. Elvis Weinstein: That's the reason we're here, to exploit exploitation. If you're gonna do that, you gotta take the bad with the bad.
- Frank Conniff: This would be a great spot for a song from "West Side Story." Or any other movie that isn't this.