- The Queen: Unleashing hordes of criminal psychopaths on England. Not cricket really. Is it?
- John Ripper: No, your Majesty. It is not cricket. But we're not here to play cricket.
- Captain Gulliver Troy: [about Alfred] If you weren't such a low ruffian, you'd have made a splendid officer.
- Inspector Victor Aziz: They say rightly, that there are no atheists in foxholes. But there are no saints, either.
- Lord James Harwood: You told me? You told me? I'm the High Chancellor of England! You do not tell me anything! Nobody tells me what to do!
- Martha Kane: Okay. He's heinous.
- Thomas Wayne: Thank you. I know how hard it is for you to agree with me.
- Thomas Wayne: You remember my sister, Patricia.
- Alfred Pennyworth: Of course. You punched me on the nose.
- Patricia Wayne: Did I? I'm sorry. I expect you deserved it.
- Captain Gulliver Troy: That's my boy.
- Melanie Troy: Is that right, Alfie, are you his boy?
- Alfred Pennyworth: I'm nobody's boy.
- Thomas Wayne: So, my little sister. Getting married. Amazing.
- Patricia Wayne: know you don't like him.
- Thomas Wayne: Well, hey, at least he doesn't worship Satan, as far as I know. Next thing you'll be having kids.
- Patricia Wayne: See? You're trying to scare me.
- Thomas Wayne: Newsflash, Pat, kids are what happen when you have sex.
- Patricia Wayne: Well we'll stick to anal, then.
- Peggy Sykes: Nice to meet you, Katie. You'd best come in before your girlfriend here murders someone else.
- Captain Gulliver Troy: I'm Gully Troy. And you don't cross me.
- Alfred Pennyworth: I'm Alfred Pennyworth, and I just did.