- Tara: [as 'T'] Dude, I have been digging around in your closet for an hour and I can't fuckin' get to Narnia.
- Tara: Kate! I did not raise you to let boys who wear pigtails push you around.
- Benjamin Lambert: These are samurai knots!
- Kate: Mom, we're fine. We're having a dialogue about our relationship
- Tara: We? Honey, this Power Puff Boy does not warrant a collective pronoun.
- Benjamin Lambert: Is this the bitch character or something? Make her turn it off.
- Benjamin Lambert: Ow! Mrs. Gregor, stop! I can't hit you!
- Tara: [as Buck] What's this "Mrs. Gregor" bullshit? I'm Buck and I will fuck you sideways!
- Tara: [Talking into video camera about finding the morning-after pill in her daughter's backpack] I can't seem to be able to micro-manage my daughter's vagina.
- Max: [Talking to his daughter about her mom] You know a bad surprise is a trigger for her.
- Kate: Dad, everything is a trigger lately. I mean, why can't mom be manic depressive like all the other moms? You can't expect me to be the perfect child all the time, just because mom acts like a lot of different people when she's stressed.