30 Rock (TV Series)

St. Valentine's Day (2009)

Alec Baldwin: Jack Donaghy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jack Donaghy : Elisa is deeply religious.

  Liz Lemon : If I had those knockers, I'd be thanking God, too.

• Jack Donaghy : [pretending to pray in church while actually on the phone with his assistant]  Our Jonathan, who art in the office, hallowed be my reservation. If you are able, hold my table, at Plunder, as we will not be there by 7. Have them delay our heavenly dessert, and forgive us our lateness, as we forgive those who cause lateness against us...

• Elisa : Maybe this is God telling me we do not belong together. Maybe this is a sign.

  Jack Donaghy : [his phone chimes]  Look - my driver just pulled up. *That's* a sign. God wants us to leave here, get a good meal, and go to town on each other.

  Elisa : [she slaps him]  How dare you say something like that so close to the statue of Santa Lucia, the patron saint of judgmental statues!

• Elisa : You know what your problem is, Jack? You intellectualize everything with your big head!

  Jack Donaghy : Well, you have big boobs!

  Elisa : Which you'll never touch again!

  Jack Donaghy : [sotto voce]  This conversation has taken an unfortunate turn.

• [Jack is in a confession booth, trying to shock the priest] 

  Jack Donaghy : I once claimed "I am God" during a deposition.