A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas (2011)

John Cho: Harold

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Harold : You still haven't explained the gay thing.

  Kumar : You're not gay, motherfucker!

  Harold : At all.

  Neil Patrick Harris : Yeah that's something us magicians like to call misdirection. Just a little something I picked up from my man, Clay Aiken.

  Kumar : What? Clay Aiken's not gay?

  Neil Patrick Harris : Are you kidding me? Clay's the biggest coos hound I know. That guy gets mad gash.

• Kenneth Park : This is a Sharp 52" Aquos Quattron TV with state-of-the-art 3D technology that makes Avatar look Avatar-ded.

  Harold : I don't know. Hasn't the whole 3D thing jumped shark by now?

  Kenneth Park : Mr. Lee, you don't understand. This is the best 3D you've ever seen. It's gonna be amazing!

  [Kenneth gives two thumbs up to the audience] 

  Harold : Who are you looking at?

• Todd : Oh, great. Now we're getting tinkled on.

  Harold : It's just urine. It'll wash out.

  Todd : Oh, Harry. Tinkled on the windshield. That is officially the grossest thing that has ever happened to me.

• Harold : I shot Santa in the face! He's real! And I shot him in the face!

• Harold : Koreans have killed his mother and now his tree. Christmas is ruined.

• Harold : [after Mr Perez furiously yells at Harold for ruining Christmas, and Harold finally snaps]  I runined your... You ruined my Christmas man. You know what happened to me tonight? Uh, I inadvertly introduced a baby to cocaine, I was almost burned alive by Ukrainian gangsters, I was drugged by asshole teenagers, and I danced on stage in a Christmas extravaganza and I'm a terrible dancer, I almost had my dick ripped off. And then I shot Santa Claus in the fucking face. He's real, and I shot him in the face. Why? Because I wanted you to have a perfect fucking Christmas. And, here's a news flash. This is my house, Maria is my wife, and if you want to be in our family, you best show me some fucking respect. Was that too much?

• Harold : [after Mr Perez enrages at Harold for ruining Christmas]  I runined your... You ruined my Christmas man. You know what I've been through tonight? Uh, I inadvertly introduced a baby to cocaine, I was almost burned alive by Ukrainian gangsters, I was drugged by asshole teenagers, then I danced on stage in a Christmas extravaganza and I'm a terrible dancer, I almost had my dick ripped off, and then I shot Santa Claus in the fucking face. He's real and I shot him in the face. Why? Because I wanted you to have a perfect fucking Christmas. And here's a news flash. This is my house, Maria is my wife, and if you wanna be in our family, you best show me some respect. Was that too much?

• Neil Patrick Harris : What can I do for you, my burglars of turd?

  Kumar : How the heck are you still alive?

  Neil Patrick Harris : What are you talking about?

  Harold : We saw you get shot! Remember?

  Neil Patrick Harris : You have to be more specific.

  Kumar : In that whorehouse?

  Harold : In Texas!

  Kumar : You branded a prostitute!

  Harold : Remember?

  Neil Patrick Harris : Oh yeah!