A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas (2011)

Kal Penn: Kumar

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kumar : [Upon being asked to go to a Christmas Eve party]  No can do man. I have to stay here and smoke this weed, otherwise I won't get high.

• [Kumar butts to the front of the line and is now on Santa's lap] 

  Mother in Santa line-up : HEY! Back of the line, Tech Support!

  Kumar : Take it easy, Reba. Your little boy can rub his ass on Santa's cock in a minute!

• Harold : You still haven't explained the gay thing.

  Kumar : You're not gay, motherfucker!

  Harold : At all.

  Neil Patrick Harris : Yeah that's something us magicians like to call misdirection. Just a little something I picked up from my man, Clay Aiken.

  Kumar : What? Clay Aiken's not gay?

  Neil Patrick Harris : Are you kidding me? Clay's the biggest coos hound I know. That guy gets mad gash.

• Kumar : You have a good job, you make good money, and you don't beat your wife. What more could a Latino father-in-law ask for?

• Kumar : I haven't shaved since you left. Pretty romantic, right? Like Ryan Gosling in "The Notebook."

• Kumar : Uh, miss, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to let you rape my friend on Christmas Eve.

• Neil Patrick Harris : You know what? Take mine. I hate that stupid android fuck.

  Kumar : Don't call him that, dude.

  [turns to Wafflebot] 

  Kumar : What's up, Wafflebot? Waffles are awesome. Pancakes suck, right?

  Wafflebot : I hate pancakes.

  Kumar : I know, so do I.

  Wafflebot : Kumar.

• Wafflebot : Would you like a waffle, Mr. Harris?

  Neil Patrick Harris : Shut up! God, I hate this fucking pancake bot thing.

  Kumar : Dude, it's Wafflebot. Not a pancake bot, they're awesome.

  Neil Patrick Harris : Hey, waffle thing! Get the fuck out of my life!

  [kicks Wafflebot] 

  Wafflebot : Ouch!

• Neil Patrick Harris : What can I do for you, my burglars of turd?

  Kumar : How the heck are you still alive?

  Neil Patrick Harris : What are you talking about?

  Harold : We saw you get shot! Remember?

  Neil Patrick Harris : You have to be more specific.

  Kumar : In that whorehouse?

  Harold : In Texas!

  Kumar : You branded a prostitute!

  Harold : Remember?

  Neil Patrick Harris : Oh yeah!