- Annie Wilson: [to Kimberly] Hey, can I just say that I was the new girl up until right now, so I totally know how you feel.
- Kimberly MacIntyre: Well, I guess you weren't very good at it 'cause now I got the job.
- Ryan Matthews: That's cute.
- [last lines, over scenes of EMTs trying to revive an OD'ing Adrianna]
- Naomi Clark: I cannot believe you did this to me. You were the one person that I thought I could count on, that I could trust. It was you, Adrianna, you were it. And you can't even do so little as to pick up your freaking phone. Amazing. Way to go. This friendship is over. We're done. I hope you got that. You're dead to me.
- Ryan Matthews: [to Kimberly] You wanna tell us a little something about yourself, Kimberly?
- Kimberly MacIntyre: Well, why don't you just take whatever the old new girl said about herself and just make it better.
- Ryan Matthews: Well, that's tough because the old new girl is from Kansas and it just doesn't get any better than that.
- Annie Wilson: There's no place like home.
- Debbie Wilson: [to Harry] Your mother flashed the gardener again.
- Tabitha Wilson: I never flashed Mauricio. I like to swim naked. I like how it feels when the water glides off my ass. Why should I give that up?
- Harry Wilson: Mom, Mauricio comes once a week. Do you have to swim naked at that exact moment?
- Tabitha Wilson: Harry, don't be such a prude. I'm letting my freak fly and there's nothing you can do about it.
- Erin Silver: [to Annie about Ethan] I think you guys have things in reverse. First you date, then marriage, and then a baby. But, you know, whatever works for you.
- Naomi Clark: [to Adrianna] So how is Mommy Dearest?
- Adrianna Duncan: You know, desperate to be Dina Lohan and making me suffer for every moment that she's not.
- Kimberly MacIntyre: I'm Kim, I'm from Las Vegas. I wear size 8 shoes, I have three piercings, but I won't say where, and I like tacos.
- Ryan Matthews: Great, I also like tacos. Welcome to the school.
- Kimberly MacIntyre: Any piercings?
- Ryan Matthews: [to the class] Moving on.
- Miss Wells: Annie and Ethan, you are married. Annie works, Ethan is a stay-at-home dad.
- Ethan Ward: Do I like, have a hobby?
- Miss Wells: Your hobby is your child.
- Dixon Wilson: [to Silver] You are a very strange girl.
- Erin Silver: Yeah? Well, I'm a strange girl who's gonna have the most rockingest half-birthday ever. Come on, "Psycho" at a cemetery? Awesomely perfect.
- Dixon Wilson: Grandma, you don't see me. You just forgot to take your blue pill.
- Tabitha Wilson: Did all the blood rush away from the part of your brain that allows you to tell time?
- Dixon Wilson: I was just...
- Tabitha Wilson: Sneaking in. Were you with a girl? I want all the deets. Don't worry, I won't tell your mom and dad.
- Dixon Wilson: Thank you so much, Grandma.
- Tabitha Wilson: I meant I won't tell them if you were with a girl. They know you're not here. Your mother is halfway to calling the police.
- Kimberly MacIntyre: [to Ryan] I hear this is where the party's at.
- Ryan Matthews: That's right, so can sit down and pour yourself a tall glass of "shut up" and "don't speak" for the next hour.
- Kimberly MacIntyre: Does that come in diet? 'Cause I'm kind of watching my figure.
- Ryan Matthews: And that ends the conversation portion of this detention.
- Adrianna Duncan: Give me a break, Naomi.
- Naomi Clark: No! No, I won't give you a break. Okay? I'm your friend and I may come off as annoying or whatever you think I am, but I care about you, and I'm worried about you.
- Ryan Matthews: [to Kimberly] Listen, I don't want to assume anything here, but I've been through this with students before, so if you're having any kind of feelings. I'm your teacher, you're my student, and I'm a lot older than you. I mean, I'm not a lot...
- Kimberly MacIntyre: Dude, chill. I just didn't want you to catch her stupidity. I heard it's contagious and I hope you didn't think I had a crush on you, because... gross.
- Naomi Clark: Mom, what are you doing?
- Tracy Clark: I'm doing what I should've done a long time ago. I'm acting like your mother instead of your sister or your friend.
- Naomi Clark: Are you kidding me? Dad, she's tearing my room apart!
- Charles Clark: If I wasn't bailing you out, I'd be doing it right along with her.
- Kimberly MacIntyre: [to Ryan] Do you have a girlfriend?
- Ryan Matthews: [laughs] That's none of your business.
- Kimberly MacIntyre: Are you gay? You seem gay.
- Ryan Matthews: Yeah, about as gay as your dad.
- Kimberly MacIntyre: My dad's dead.
- Ryan Matthews: Hm. Well, I think your dad's about as dead as I am gay.
- Kimberly MacIntyre: Touché.