Skeleton Crew (Video 2009) Poster

(2009 Video)

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5/10
Sort of entertaining rubbish one & a half films edited together.
poolandrews20 February 2010
Warning: Spoilers
Skeleton Crew is set in Finland where a small film crew are making a horror film called Silent Creek about a doctor that worked in a mental institution who made snuff films by torturing & murdering his patients some thirty year previous. The film crew are actually filming in the same institution where the murders took place & while scouting the place out they find a hidden room with a projector & a stash of snuff films, the director Steven (Steve Porter) becomes obsessed with the films & watches them although the rest of the crew don't. The graphic snuff films seems to have an affect on Steven & he rewrites his film to include the murders of of his cast & crew as he intends to carry on the doctor's legacy & make his own snuff film masterpiece...

This Finnish production was directed by Tommi Lepola & Tero Molin & is a bit of an oddity really, I can't say I particularly liked it but at the same time I can't say I hated it. The first thing that is very noticeable about Skeleton Crew is how long the script plays the film within a film scenario in the sense you actually think your watching the film as it's supposed to be but then someone shout's cut & it's revealed that the previous scene was itself a scene being filmed within the context of the film but here in Skeleton Crew the entire first twenty one minutes is played out like a proper film before the film within a film twist is revealed & afterwards you have to basically forget the entire first twenty odd minutes as the film proper then kicks in. The silly twist's don't end there though as the character's realise towards the end that they actually are character's in a horror film & all the silly unbelievable things that have happened before are just part of horror film rules, it's a really strange plot twist & revelation that the makers can't quite pull off, it's an interesting idea with amusing comic potential but the film takes itself very seriously & it's hard to do the same. At 90 odd minutes I could have done with ten minutes or so cut from it, the character's & especially some of the dialogue is really bad (I take it as a Finnish production the makers first language isn't English which explains the odd dialogue & strange delivery) although there's some decent gore & it does try to throw in some twist's & turns that with a better script could have made for an effective horror thriller & it's saying something when you think the film within the film first twenty minutes is better than the rest of it!

The first twenty odd minutes is actually quite atmospheric & darkly filmed while the rest of it, the proper film as it were, lacks any of that atmosphere & feels far more routine. There's some decent gore here, a scalpel is plunged into someone's eye, someone's head is drilled, someones cut in half with a chainsaw, someone is impaled on a spiked lance & there's a fair amount of blood splatter. The film is not perfect with various people just disappearing (the nurse from the beginning & the guy playing Lisa's husband) & when the drill's are switched Bruce doesn't even notice how different they look before sticking it in a girls head?

With a supposed budget of about $1,000,000 this looks pretty good, well at least the first twenty minutes do while the rest of it merely looks alright. Apparently shot entirely in Finland with a mostly Finnish cast & crew, I can't say I can ever remember seeing another Finnish horror film actually. The acting is often very bad, some of the accents, bizarre emphasis on random word & the way sentences are constructed give Skeleton Crew a somewhat surreal feel that I quite liked in an odd way.

Skeleton Crew really isn't very good with a couple of poorly handled plot twist's but I thought it tried & there's a few decent gory moments here & a bit of unintentional comedy value too with the bizarre dialogue & acting. I can't really recommend it but I didn't hate it.
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3/10
About as much dramatic flair as a video game intro
Michael-d-duncan4 July 2009
The story is about a group of film makers who are shooting in the actual location where the murders they are pretending to portray actually happened. The director is then over come by the power of the evil doctor who still haunts the facility. House on Haunted Hill anyone?

The acting is campy which is exactly what I was looking forward to. I wanted a B-movie. They really needed to pack it in a bit sooner.

The story is a total rip off! The scenery from saw plus the demented doctor from House on Haunted Hill. Add in a bit of predictability and you've passed two kidney stones and an hour plus thirty.
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4/10
Bad but entertaining
mistoppi30 November 2017
Skeleton Crew is definitely a weird movie. And I guess it's because I kept telling myself (and my friend) that this is going to be so bad, that I'm almost positively surprised. It was bad, but like with so many movies like this, it's kind of the point. If a movie like this would be made completely seriously and well, it wouldn't have any kind of charm, would just make you wonder if the writers are okay. When it's done with a tongue-in-cheek attitude, it's usually more entertaining.

Skeleton Crew plays with horror movie tropes in a fun, fourth wall breaking way, while being brutally violent and just... f###ed up. It's been hours since I saw the movie, and I'm still confused about... well, everything.

It's a bad movie, but I definitely had fun when watching it. So if you do watch it, make sure you watch it friends, because this is one of those movies where it's just sad when you watch it alone and can't really laugh about it at the same time.
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Nothing good about it
carias21159 July 2009
I am not a movie critic just a normal person that likes good movies. This movie is really really bad, the acting is bad the plot is bad and also the story line. They tried to get people attention showing some nude scenes but even those scenes are bad. This movie it's about a Crew that is making a movie, about a crazy Doctor that torture and murder patients on a mental institution. The movie they shooting sucks apparently in real life; then the director goes nuts after finding some real films that were made by the actual doctor that kills all that people, then the movie director becomes a killer just like the dead crazy doctor and his crew becomes part of a new movie. It has some gore and bloody scenes but they are not really well done. Just don't waste your time watching this movie.
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2/10
Tedious and lame slasher
latakiahaze18 August 2010
Utterly dreadful. A pitiful slasher with no redeeming qualities. Drags on and on like a train wreck in slow motion and the acting is not camp, it's just plain bad. What is so unforgivable about this movie is that with all the ingredients: a derelict asylum and a lunatic movie director making snuff movies on the fly, its difficult to see how the makers could fail to make at least a halfway decent horror film. This one misses the mark by a mile. Spurious sex scenes and tiresome adolescent remarks about mainstream slashers such as Saw and Hostel weigh this plodding mess down even more. Only good as a cure for insomnia.
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4/10
Cliché film survives thanks to a good visual style
dbborroughs31 July 2009
Warning: Spoilers
film crew making a film about a snuff film maker and serial killer from 30 years before finds that someone is killing them off and filming the gory happenings. The often stunning visual sense of the film is what keeps this film afloat even as the plot drops into cliché. The problem with the film is that the plot really doesn't do anything you haven't seen before. After a too long opening sequence of past events, something that turns out to the film being made, the film more or less becomes the tried and true story of the film crew being hunted by someone either in the building or among them. Its not badly done, but its not a story that has any new twists and turns. The real problem with the film is that there are numerous WTF moments as the film kind of does completely illogical things (I mean beyond not packing up and leaving). At one point some of the crew finds footage, actually an earlier sequence in the movie, that is suppose to be something the killer shot. How it was possible is not explained and it really strains credibility. Good enough to recommend with reservations, its the sort of thing that will entertain its intended audience, but not likely to win many converts outside of it.
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5/10
Skeleton crew eventually become skeletons themselves
djderka8 January 2011
1) Get a million dollars 2) Assemble a cast and crew 3) Rewrite a script. Repeat. Repeat again 4) Procure some film/video and lighting equipment 5) Locate a current/old or abandoned asylum 6) Make movie 7) Read reviews on IMDb 8) Try again

This movie would have worked much better if the video makers went deep into XXX territory. One reviewer suggested a spoof. Hmmmm. Maybe. Anyone agree? Makes more sense that way. And there were hints of spoofdom...but spoofs are hard to pull off. The Naked Gun series and Scary Movie series were very funny movies.

But then they had lots of talent too.

NIGHT: INSIDE ASYLUM

The Director is watching a "found" snuff film from former denizens of the asylum. He becomes what he beholds. Shouldn't an alert siren go off with the klangon bells like on a destroyer, signaling "battle stations".

I think Skeleton Crew is best labeled as an OK B movie, get for drive-ins where you can make out during the movie. Or, was this totally tongue in cheek. Has anyone talked with the director. No special features....which would reveal his intent. This would have helped.

There are plenty of old,decayed, abandoned asylums everywhere and aspiring filmmakers. I am sure we will see many more ASYLUM films.

UPDATE: I did some thinking and decided it is a SPOOF. Why? Everyone seems to be doing a tongue in cheek performance. And at the end of the credits a guy makes a satirical comment. The director is over the top. Europeans love to dish back our own culture to us. And they often do it in a very subtle manner. And the "found" films try to one up our version of horror films. That's why there is confusion for us on this movie.

Did anyone catch the reference to Michael Powell's PEEPING TOM. One crew member gets skewered by a huge spear at the end of a camera, which films his agony. In PEEPING TOM, the killer does the same thing and uses a tripod with a mirror attached. I think it is all a spoof on several films, including the stormy weather and accident that propels them to the asylum (this has been done many times). So if you look at as a spoof with European sensibilities and as a B movie, it is OK. I may even rent it again, as I ony paid 25 cents for rental due to a special.
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2/10
the tag-line fills me with hope that something like this will never again be foisted upon an unsuspecting public
movieman_kev2 August 2009
Warning: Spoilers
An insipid director, hoping to make the next great 'torture-porn' film winds up going insane from finding some 8-MM snuff films in the abandoned mental asylums that the crews' shooting in, in this lame B-grade horror movie-within a movie-within a movie.

The movie apes Saw, Hostel, & Scream among others, but lacks the charm, wit, or even watchabilty of any of those aforementioned films. Leaving us with nothing to do other than twiddle our thumbs and periodically check our watches while the mostly unbearable 90 minutes or so drones on and on

Eye Candy: Riikka Niemi & Rita Suomalainen both bare their respective asses (it's a shame though as the movie could've easily had much more nudity)

My Grade: D-

DVD Extras: just a trailer for this film & trailers for "Devil's Ground" and "Columbus Day" is all you get
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1/10
A demented doctor gets into film making!
korlat228 July 2009
Warning: Spoilers
The tag line for this offering from the bowel of Satan is 'There's no sequel for you'; and trust me…if you have the balls to stick with this pile of steaming poop through to the bitter end, you'll thank all that you hold to be holy that there won't be.

I don't know where to start really. The plot is the most contrived that you'll ever wish to see in and grade F movie…I won't even dignify this with the honorific of a 'B' movie…that would be an insult.

Basically a film crew turns up at a derelict Asylum somewhere on the border of Russia…it never really explains the location…where 30 years previously a demented doctor decided to go into the film making business by turning out his own snuff movies by using the inmates as his cast. The erstwhile medic then disappeared taking the majority of his footage with him. The modern day crew turn up to re-create the events in a schlock horror movie.

The plot then, of course, is totally predictable as the new director assumes the mantle of his real-life predecessor and starts joyfully killing off the cast and crew in various horrific ways.

Let me talk for just a moment about the actor who portrays this new and improved homicidal maniac; I feel he has to have special mention, although there is plenty of guilt to go around. His name is Steve Porter. Don't bother getting too attached to his performance, which is the most wooden one I've seen since Pinocchio, as I can almost guarantee after this movie we won't be seeing him again…unless it's on his mug shot as he is led away by the police after being arrested for crimes against the viewing public. I mean, he can't help looking like a refugee Amish extra from 'Witness'…I won't hold that against him. But why the hell does he have to deliver every line like he's an alumni from the William Shatner school of acting? He was awful. The stick up his ass looked like it had a stick up its ass. His manic eye-rolling teeth-baring performance as an insane killer was silly to the point of being ludicrous. I cringed as I watched it, but for all the wrong reasons. It wasn't fear it was embarrassment.

Finnish director Tommi Lepola who also made that unforgettable 2003 classic Kohatalon Kirja (aka 'The book of fate'…remember that one? Of course you don't!) puts the action together in a totally lackluster way…you can almost feel his desperation in every scene as he quickly comes to the inescapable conclusion that he is working with the absolute WORST bunch of actors, writers and continuity people since the immortal Ed Wood graced the silver screen and tries to salvage something from this rapidly sinking tugboat of a movie.

But despite all their combined efforts…or perhaps because of them…the end product had the inevitability of a low speed car crash.

Lepola also seems to have a predilection with actresses with large butts. It was almost like you couldn't act in his movie unless your ass reached a certain weight; it was quite Bizarre. All I have to say on that particular subject, is some people should definitely wear clothes. Or at least underwear that actually fits. It really did add insult to injury.

Suffice to say, that the cast ran the gamut of emotions from A to…well… to A really.

Skeleton Crew was bad. Not just bad in the conventional sense as in badly written, acted, or directed…but unwholesome like biting into a rotten apple or taking a mouthful of sour milk. It was violence and gore, for the sake of it…gratuitous lesbian sex that had NO real relationship to the plot, other than trying to appeal to people's baser instincts. All in all it left a nasty taste in my mouth.

I now live in mortal dread that any of these people involved would ever option one of my own stories for the movie rights.

Avoid this awful rubbish like a dose of terminal hemorrhoids, unless you really are, like me, in pursuit of the worst horror movie ever made!
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1/10
Tongue-in-cheek movie without a plot. Easily avoidable.
ernesti7 December 2012
I wondered why i had never heard of this film and its directors and after watching the film for the first thirty minutes i understood why that is the case. This film is absolutely ridiculous with horrible delivery of the lines, amateur actors and on top of that it has very little plot. The film started of pretty good and it was quite promising but the grin-worthy English accent ruined it. It's so painful and i just couldn't resist a feeling of mutual shame.

I think it should have been made in Finnish completely or with broken English and then dubbed over with professional sounding voice actors.

It's also noticeable that the film falls apart just after 15 minutes. All the ideas got wasted and probably there was a lack of imagination involved or they didn't have a script at all.

It doesn't look as if the movie had 1 million budget. It could have been made for about 50 000 euro at most. I've seen many professional looking low budget films and if 1 million budget was correct i'd have to say that it was wasted completely.

For its merits i could say that it may be the one of the first really trashy, gory and "tongue-in-cheek" films made in Finland. That's just about it all. There's nothing original about it and many film directors have done it better. In fact this is even worse than some Uwe Boll films.

In overall this film is trash and completely avoidable.
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3/10
Bad Bad Bad
momster6413 February 2023
I fell prey to a decent trailer and intriguing plot line. Unfortunately, that's all it really had.

Bad acting, plot full of holes, and one of my biggest pet peeves: too many characters who look so much alike that it's hard to tell who's who, and not one of them is sympathetic enough to merit caring about.

The only thing it had going for it in my opinion, the gore effects and blood weren't half bad, which was surprising to me considering how bad the rest of the movie was.

Throw in gratuitous backside nudity that brought nothing to the plot, and a plot device that attempted to jump on the "Cabin in the Woods" bandwagon, and you've got a true mess of a movie.
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6/10
Skeleton Crew
Scarecrow-885 October 2010
Warning: Spoilers
It's funny. As I was watching the opening of SKELETON CREW, I thought I might be in for a treat, a sort of psycho killer thriller set in a weird decaying mental institution whose staff had long gone off the deep end. Almost 30 minutes(!)in, we find that what has been presented to us, regarding a poor woman's ordeal after a car crash leaves her in an asylum while her boyfriend is supposedly being patched up, hunted by the hospital's crew, is simply footage for a low budget horror film . We are introduced to a Finnish film crew, tired and forlorn because they haven't been paid, the director fancying himself an auteur while his producer, back in LA, has no intention of spending any money on their film. Then, the director, Steven(Steve Porter)becomes obsessed with snuff film stock found by members of his crew, and we soon discover that spirits of the deranged hospital staff who committed torturous atrocities to patients back in the 70s before the hospital was closed and searched by police are haunting the halls. Steven, who begins to hunt and kill his actors and crew, using methods perfected by the ghouls who once operated the now dilapidated hospital fallen to ruin, could very well be controlled by the evil spirit of the former director of the asylum, "The Auteur"(what the hospital director called himself when filming his torture of patients in the basement of the building). The hunted will need to somehow evade their pursuer, but any avenue of escape seems remote since their van's engine, of course, doesn't crank and phones have no signal. Meanwhile, The Auteur is able to capture and butcher each crew member one at a time when separate from the pack.

Kind of a "poutpori" of various subgenres. It's a slasher movie. It's a torture movie. It's a satire on low budget filmmaking. It's got ghosts and a madman on the loose doing their bidding. It incorporates the idea of existence of snuff movies. It's a black comedy whose humor is geared towards the slasher genre and it's many clichés. It pokes fun at the "film within the film" structure. The mental hospital is an extremely notable asset as is the excellent special gore effects highlighting some pretty unpleasant ultra violence including the use of a number of weapons including a chainsaw, set lights(which burns one poor fellow alive), bats with spikes(a homage to ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, perhaps?), power drill(an actor has no idea that Steven has substituted a real one for a prop!), and hammers(which pummel victims strapped to chairs by leather straps). The make-up effects(such grisly delights such as the bodies of live victims with limbs removed, the aforementioned burn victim whose skin chars before our eyes, gun shot wound in the back of a victim's skull)and camera work, not to mention the snuff reels, are first-rate. It's the unevenness of the bonkers plot which doesn't quite gel. SKELETON CREW is very tongue-in-cheek and should make for an easy double feature with a HOSTEL or SAW movie. I liked this a bit more than others who found it unwatchable; could be I was in the right mood for it. I wouldn't necessarily say SKELETON CREW is a success but it's dark heart is in the right place. That's a wrap.
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4/10
GREAT TITLE...
nogodnomasters2 June 2019
Warning: Spoilers
GREAT TITLE...for a movie about dead pirates, which this is not. This is somewhat of a "Saw" ripoff with various torture/killing scenes but none of the "intellect" of the movie. The movie goes on for awhile until it lets you know that it is a movie within a movie.

In the 1970's the doctor at this hospital (movie location) made snuff films of his patients. This movie within the movie is about that doctor. Then the crew finds a hidden room which contained the actual snuff films. The director watches the film. Soon people start to die, but it is not a who-dun-it. The voices didn't match the lips (foreign).

Parental Guide: Adult language, simulated sex/oral sex/ girl-girl action. Minor nudity.
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6/10
different
kairingler11 July 2013
a man and a woman are in a car crash , and look to find help,, eventually they get to a "hospital" or so they think, it's really an old asylum , dark decrepit and full of mystery. once there I can't remember which but one of our characters get's helped by the doctor , while the other isn't seen for awhile. after some time goes by, our victim realizes what is happening but it's all to late, the whole staff is in on it... but what our 2 characters don't get yet is that it's a movie being filmed by the staff, they are acting filming and directing a movie of their own, based on some supposedly real life going on at the Sanatarium many years before hand, where there was a doctor that went absolutely mad. if this isn't bad enough,, our director goes into this one room and find some secret footage from the vault, and sees the doctor performing weird surgeries and the like,, and he slowly is transformed into the afformention mad doctor,, I liked the movie it wasn't near as bad as people make it out to be,, it's good campy horror at it's best for a direct to video production.
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7/10
Movie in a movie.
michaelRokeefe28 September 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Product of Finland, SKELETON CREW is about a horror film being shot in an abandoned insane asylum with a very dark history. The cast and crew make an awesome discovery. They find evidence in old film canisters showing a demented doctor torturing and killing patients in many different bone chilling and repulsive ways. The crew is actually shooting a movie based on the rumor of these killings that happened decades earlier.

About the first 30 minutes is a movie inside a movie, but really has you engrossed. There are some gruesome images and several left to the imagination. Film looks very low budget, but that may be some of the appeal. Most of the acting is atrocious and over the top. But the character of Lisa(Rita Suomaianen)saved it for me. Or was it the actress herself? Probably.

Others in the cast: Anna Alkiomaa, Jonathon Rankle, Rikka Nemi and David Yoken.
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6/10
don't take it too serious and you will enjoy it
trashgang23 November 2015
Found this very cheap at a convention so I was alert to see a really bad movie due the price. Luckily this wasn't that bad after all even as many people are tearing this down to the ground. I liked it but you must take it with a smile. Is it a real horror, yes and no.

A crew is out at an abandoned asylum to shoot a horror flick. But what they found in the basement are some films with snuff on it. The director is addicted to those flicks and when the shootings doesn't go that good after all he slowly changes into a mad director wanting to make a snuff. And when he finds an 8 mm camera he decides to kill his crew while shooting and making his own snuff.

I admit, it takes a while before things go wrong but the snuffs being watched is creepy and does show the horror. It's when the director goes out to kill that the real horror and gore comes in. It's a low budget flick and it shows here and there but overall when you don't take it all to serious it's a rather mediocre horror flick.

One to see while necking a brewskie with your friends, and you will all have your smiles but if you think to take this serious then you will hate it.

Gore 2/5 Nudity 0,5/5 Effects 2,5/5 Story 2,5/5 Comedy 1/5
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6/10
Don't overthink it just watch and don't ask why
I actually quite enjoyed this little flick. Then again, I rarely go in to any film with expectations. Tonight, all I wanted to was low budget horror. This turned out to be right up my alley.

  • cheesy overdone acting (but not so bad that it wasn't at least convincing)
  • horror story with at least a little gore
  • low budget
  • pro equipment
  • standard horror tropes (sex, killing, blood & gore)


While I enjoy low budget horror, I have a hard time with anything that looks like it was shot on an iPhone or a home camcorder. Not that I won't watch them, but I prefer tighter looking camera work with the 35mm grain.

All of the above is true. This is not a masterpiece, but I enjoyed the story- unique, and different than I expected, especially the ending - as well as the fx, which were not top notch but were adequate. The direction was fine, as well as the post production. One thing I noticed in many of the reviews was a lack of understanding.

***THIS MOVIE IS MEANT TO NOT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. DON'T QUESTION IT!***

So many bad reviews, saying "that couldn't happen...that's the stupidest thing I've ever seen...no way it would go like that." It's not meant as a fully serious film, especially since the script has so many subtle nods to other b-class horror movies and directors. Don't question why...don't look at the holes in the story...don't do anything other than sit there with your choice of adult treats and enjoy.

Personally, I wish it had been more gory, but that's just me. They could have really souped this up and easily gotten away with it, but whatever.

It's worth a watch, for sure, especially if you have Amazon Prime. It's free.
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In some ways not too bad...
verystupidostrich27 November 2009
Warning: Spoilers
So, yet another meta film about how predictable horror movies are... that never itself strays from every single horror trope it can find.

what annoyed me most about this film was one particular thing... there is this undercurrent of sex going through the whole thing... even a couple sex scenes. One character even notes that she "went lez" even though she is "straight as an arrow". The problem, however, is that despite all the ass-shots both male and female they are careful not to do a single topless shot, which is not in itself a problem... as long as it doesn't look like you were trying to not quite show anyone topless. Horrible editing and scripting on this point.
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