Big Mouth (TV Series)
What Are You Gonna Do? (2020)
John Mulaney: Andrew Glouberman
Photos
Quotes
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Andrew Glouberman : Nick, can you hear me? Nick?
[sunlight gleamed on him]
Andrew Glouberman : [saw him alive] Nick Birch?
Nick Birch : [in the attic awaking] I-It's me. I think I'm okay.
Jessi Glaser : Oh, thank God!
Missy Foreman-Greenwald : All right!
Andrew Glouberman : Uh-pa-pa, that's exactly what Nick Starr would say.
Nick Birch : Andrew, shut the fuck up and untie me.
Andrew Glouberman : And that's exactly what the real Nick would say. Gimme those ropes.
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Nick Birch : Whoa, this is crazy. I'm actually controlling Marty's body.
Andrew Glouberman : [he looks at him controlling Marty's body] Dad, are you okay? You sound exactly like Nick.
Andrew Glouberman : That's because I am Nick.
Andrew Glouberman : Nick, are you in there? What the hell's going on?
Nick Birch : My evil future self has taken over my body.
Andrew Glouberman : Oh, God! That can happen?
Nick Birch : So, I possessed your dad through his butthole, and I...
Andrew Glouberman : [he starts freaking out] What the hell are you talking about?
Nick Birch : Oh, God, I was trying to calm you down, and now I realize I'm freaking you out more!
Andrew Glouberman : Yeah, a bit!
Nick Birch : Oh, I'm sorry. I'm the worst, and I'm gonna be like this forever!
Andrew Glouberman : [He slaps him in the face] SHUT THE FUCK UP! You're making me more nervous.
Andrew Glouberman : [but then calms down] Just let me breathe.
Nick Birch : What do you mean?
Andrew Glouberman : Fucking listen! Inhale for four.
[takes a deep breath and they both inhale]
Nick Birch : In for four.
[and then they both exhale]
Andrew Glouberman : There, that's better.
Nick Birch : Okay, I'm still a little wobbly, but it might just be the sheer weight of your dad's balls. It feels like I have two paint cans hanging from my taint.
Andrew Glouberman : Hey, wait... Nick, while you're in there, would you tell me that you're proud of me?
Nick Birch : Oh, this is kinda sad.
Andrew Glouberman : Come on, I...
Nick Birch : Uh, sure, Andrew, I'm proud of you.
Andrew Glouberman : No, damn it, say it like my dad.
Nick Birch : Oh, okay, uh...
Nick Birch : [then acts up like Marty] Andrew, you useless sack of nothing. I'm proud of you!
Andrew Glouberman : Oh, thanks, Dad. I'm gonna hit you again.
[then slaps him once again]
Nick Birch : Whoa!
Andrew Glouberman : Nick!
Nick Birch : You... You can see me?
Marty Glouberman : Andrew, did you just slap me in the face?
Andrew Glouberman : I did, twice, and I'm sorry.
Marty Glouberman : Don't you dare apologize! For the first time ever, I'm proud of ya, son!
Andrew Glouberman : Oh, maybe one day I'll kill you.
[and then chuckles]