The Gold Retrievers (2009) User Reviews

what a load of rubbish, even for kids

[matthew-797-595919 · 1/10 · 21 July 2010]

OK so my initial impressions of the film was that it was going to be a modern day goonies so had high expectations for a really good family movie.

Much to my disappointment this wasn't in the same school let alone class as the goonies,brief plot 2 kids go treasure hunting with a couple of badguys in tow.

The acting from all characters was terrible and the props and locations were appalling, this must have been a low budget film to say the least.

Do yourself a favour pass up on this one and get the goonies if your after a good family movie.

don't rent this!!

[asperula10 · 1/10 · 16 August 2010]

Don't LET THE CUTE DOGGIE ON THE CASE FOOL YOU!!! Terrible movie, awful acting, LAME!!! Don't insult your children by mistakenly thinking this is entertaining. The set is amateur,audio and soundtrack seem like an afterthought, and none of the actors are appealing.The plot of kids looking for gold has been done(goonies).The sub plot of pre-adolescent first kiss, crush, is again, overdone. It tried to be cute, but sorry, the child actors are not good enough to pull it off. We can't even begin to like the characters because the poor acting. I rented this through redbox, and it was not even worth the $1. Even the older actors, who should be 'seasoned', are a joke. Steve Guttenberg as a crotchety scoundrel!? He can't do it.His limp and attempt at tough-guy speech are laughable. Save your time and money, and poke needles in your eyes for 1.5 hours, it will be less painful.

So bad in so many ways

[ross-280 · 1/10 · 2 September 2010]

I am the sort of person who generally cannot understand why many movies are given bad reviews. Too many people seem to review movies purely in a technical sense, particularly kids movies.

I watched this movie with two kids aged 12 and 14 and they begged me to stop it after about 30 minutes as they could no longer stand the torture.

The acting was awful and the continuity so wrong that it overwhelmed the movie.

*************** SPOILER ALERT **************** The part that sent me right over the edge was right near the end when the two kids scramble through a tunnel for a few seconds and emerge almost where they started. This might seem OK except for the fact that they had been walking all day before they entered the tunnel.

Maybe a fairly young child might enjoy this movie but they would have to be under the age of 6.

Definitely give this one a miss.

My ten year thought this was insultingly stupid.

[trudy_cool · 1/10 · 10 March 2011]

OK, mega-stores wreck mom'n pop businesses, perhaps, so yeah there's "a message".

Biggs and Centineo are sweet, and you can see they tried hard.

Everything else about the movie is so feeble we found ourselves pitying them for having been tricked into working on a movie that they'll be ashamed of for the rest of their lives.

When the moronic bad guys fall in a stream and you see the plastic sheet that kept the water there you realize that the crew had given up on the movie altogether.

I suppose you could show it to six and unders, but you might do permanent damage to their ability to distinguish quality from trash.

Dog is the best part of this movie.

[ResidentEvil2Fan · 2/10 · 5 March 2020]

I watched this film tonight on Amazon Prime as it was included and I like clean movies and movies that feature dogs in them. I also thought the plot sounded good and it has some actors listed that I liked in previous films as well.

This film disappointed me entirely. The bad guys, played by Curtis Armstrong and Steve Guttenberg just seemed to be trying way too hard to be funny, and it ended up coming off as stupid. And the special effects or CGI that was used to simulate the swinging boulder trap was horrendously awful. It came across as a blurry mess. The audio was horrible as well. The only positive parts of this movie was the dog, Bosco. He was so cute.

good film for the kids can be a interesting watch too for all ages also.

[yorkie-1993 · 6/10 · 21 December 2009]

Basic plot: two kids search for a lost treasure in the hope of getting out of some debt issues, to fulfil their tasks they must follow the clues and avoid the traps and pursuing 'bad guys'. Who with the added adult humour are dumb red necks,

cliché. Kids of all ages will enjoys this film and want to watch it again i plan to recommend this to a few of my friends and their children.

One favourite of mine in this film is that of the terrible acting even though it will entertain kids, and even the cheesy storyline which i could do without but kids seem to enjoy

Never Ending Torture.

[mark.waltz · 1/10 · 16 June 2021]

Offensively unfunny in the sense that you're most likely going to be angry at yourself for wasting 90 minutes of your time, this hideously acted children's adventure starts off with foul odor with some really badly acted mean girls and a duo of "Home Alone" style villains who make Snidely Whiplash and Dick Dasterdly villains seem like real people. Steve Guttenberg and Curtis Armstrong are ridiculously dumb, acting like stroke victims while attempting to be darkly funny. Noah Centineo and Courtney Biggs are the teenagers on an adventure concerning the piece of a Conquistador medal that the two villains are after, and they literally end up in the rabbit hole after finding a treasure map and going into the woods for a fantasy that sadly has no fans.

There are some gloriously beautiful vistas, but that's not enough to make up for the ridiculous premise and cliched characters where you just instantly don't care. The film has a musical score that overwhelms the action and dialog that will make you wince. Poor Guttenberg looks like he'd rather be trapped inside a cocoon than stuck with a character that makes Wiley E. Coyote appear smart. Billy Zane plays Centineo's struggling father who is obviously ripped off from John Wesley Shipp in the "Never Ending Story" films. It takes nearly half of the movie for the adventure to really begin, and by that time, you're getting distracted by meaningless chores that show exactly why this compass is pointing in the wrong direction.

Part Air Bud, part Goonies, this film entertains its target audience, families

[inkblot11 · 7/10 · 14 October 2010]

Josh (Noah Centineo) and his single-parent dad are having a crisis. Their small store is being driven out of business by the new Ultramart in town, run by another divorced, solo father (Billy Zane), who is having a difficult time with his own daughter Ana (Courtney Briggs). Josh's father has informed him that they will have to move, will be apartment dwellers for a spell and will not be able to keep Josh's faithful golden retriever. Josh is distraught beyond measure. However, a legend exists in their California setting that a conquistador once left a hidden fortune in gold. What if Josh finds the treasure? He and his dad could start anew and keep their beloved canine. A chance meeting between Ana and Josh gives the young lad a new friend and gold-hunting partner. Trouble is, two petty criminals, Wade (Steve Guttenberg) and The Professor (Curtis Armstrong) have also been seeking the treasure for years. When Josh finds a significant clue, they are there watching the two young teens every move. Can Josh and Ana find the loot or will the two bungling thieves locate it first? And, since Josh's dad has forbidden him to wander in the neighboring woods, where the treasure may be, will Josh get into further trouble by defying his dad's orders? If you are searching for another family-friendly film, this one is good choice. It has adventure, history, and a darling dog, after all. The acting is a bit weak, with Guttenberg exhibiting too much ham, albeit still humorously, and the rest of the crew, Zane excepted, doing a merely average job. But, the sets, costumes, camera work, script, and direction have some winning ways and zest. So, while the movie is not "solid gold", it most likely will please most family members, young and old. Look for it.

Good movie for under-tens

[CabbageCustard · 6/10 · 4 July 2020]

This film will never win any awards. It is predictable and borrows so many tropes from other family movies that there is nothing original about it. You will guess what is going to happen and how the movie will end in the first 5 minutes. That being said, this movie isn't too bad. The two young leads are enthusiastic and enjoyable and there is a cute dog and hidden treasure to be quested. Anyone less than 10 years old will love it and their parents won't be bored out of their minds either.

One interesting point for older viewers is the appearance of a couple of 'big' stars from the eighties. Billy Zane plays a parent of one of the kids and Steve Guttenberg is almost unrecognisable as one of the villians. These two villians, by the way, are the worst part of the movie. They are so dumb that if they existed in real life they would have to be institutionalized. Both actors playing the roles are so over the top in their portrayal that older viewers will be cringing in their seats. I guess this is the kind of movie you do when your career is on the downhill slope. Still, this type of movie has to have a villian and at least these two won't scare your younger offspring.

Despite its many flaws and its predictability, this movie is harmless but goofy fun. Your kids will enjoy it and you might too.