- Kaitlin: Frank? Sounds like a wiener. I don't do wieners.
- Scott: Don't call him a wiener.
- Kaitlin: You wouldn't last TWO MINUTES in my world!
- Scott: Hark on thee. Thouest rains dews on the son of morn.
- Kyle: It has been a forenight since we have seen the frowest of maidens.
- Amanda: 'Tis I, young Thantrees! The sirens song whispers gently on the frets of thy brow.
- Scott: Avast! For thine humus is on thine sandwich. But no fearest me, for I shed no tears for Aiden's wrath...
- Kyle: Nein! For haste! Of the treacherous buttocks of the grandest of all racks.
- Ross: Torn up inside? Oh, I know that feeling. Having your juicy cutlets ripped from your body like a savage beast feasting on the flesh of an unsuspecting victim? Knowing that each bite makes him stronger and drags him further and further into the depths of insanity?
- Scott: Yeah, it's... kind of like that...
- Balls: I just dropped by to see if you got any ski-bop-be-do from that hot chick last night.
- Scott: What are you, Ella Fitzgerald now?
- Balls: Come on, I want all the details! Did she give you a Lazy Susan? How about a Skinflute Jumpsuit? What about a Yellow-bellied Muffin Shooter?
- Scott: We didn't do anything, and I think you just made those up.
- Scott: You're a dick! You had that hot chick all to yourself last night and you didn't even banga-langa-ding-dong? Don't even tell me you're still a vegan!
- Mustache Man: Pardon me. May I trouble you for a dollop of corn?
- Amanda: Let's take this slow.
- Scott: Of Course.
- Amanda: Nothing kinky. I'm not gonna give you a Lazy Susan or anything. I ain't no hojack.
- Scott: I don't even know what that is.
- Amanda: Neither do I.
- Amanda: Have you ever had a Grandma?
- Scott: Yes... once...
- Amanda: Have you ever made a promise to someone on their death bed, and then completely regretted making that promise within minutes of leaving the room?
- Scott: All the time...
- Lipkin: We must be in space, 'cause I wanna fill your moon boots!
- Amanda: I don't even know what that means...
- Lipkin: [laughing] That's hilarious! Name's Lipkin. Read the shirt.
- Amanda: Amanda...
- Lipkin: Mmmmmm...
- [scrapes her hand across his leg]
- Amanda: [disgusted] Sickenating!
- Lipkin: So Mandra, what are you doing in this bar all by yourself? I'm a boiling pot of chocolate that's ready to spill! What? You ignore Lipkin? Nobody ignores Lipkin!