- Detective Ray Carling: Checkers with Windy?
- Detective Sam Tyler: Yeah.
- Detective Ray Carling: What kind of name is Windy?
- Detective Sam Tyler: A five letter word for "bite me."
- Detective Ray Carling: [to an FBI agent searching Detective Sam Tyler's closet] Hey, Efrem Zimbalist Jr. Mint! How about we wrap it up, huh? Clearly the only crime is Tyler's taste in clothing.
- Lieutenant Gene Hunt: So, while you've been sleeping, Chris, Spiro Agnew turned out to be a great disappointment to us all. He was taking bribes. Can you imagine? The Vice President taking bribes. What's next? The President himself committing burglary?
- Detective Sam Tyler: Who do you work for?
- Agent Frank Morgan: The Dream Police; we live inside of your head.