- Brendan Dorff: You know, sometimes I wish I had a little PJ. You know, one I could take with me to sort of help guide me in the right direction.
- P.J. Franklin: Oh, you know what could be a fun experiment?
- Brendan Dorff: Hm.
- P.J. Franklin: Let me make all of your decisions, just for one week, and we'll see if your life is better or worse.
- Brendan Dorff: Interesting idea.
- P.J. Franklin: You might want to agree before you eat the three-week-old yogurt.
- Brendan Dorff: Come on, I'm sure it's fine.
- P.J. Franklin: Brendan has given all of his decision-making rights over to me for a week.
- Andy Franklin: Careful. I did that with Meredith. Never got 'em back.
- Kenny Morittori: Brendan, I was wondering if the Kenny Moritorri Band can get a quick practice session in at the bar before the gig.
- Brendan Dorff: Open mic night and no.
- P.J. Franklin: [to Brendan] I think what you mean is, "I think I can find an hour for you. Whatever I can do to help a friend."
- Brendan Dorff: [to Kenny] I think we can carve some time out for you tomorrow afternoon, pal.
- Andy Franklin: Anyway, I gotta get outta here. I have a wrongful discharge case in the morning.
- Mike Callahan: My wrongful discharges are usually in the morning as well.
- Brendan Dorff: [having followed an attractive but crazy woman to Tulsa] Dude, that girl is in-SANE. We partied in a quarry. We had sex in a nursing home. I got pushed in a river. We broke into a zoo! Oh! I had to take a bus home, man. Somehow she got me on the no-fly list!
- Bobby Newman: Tulsa has a river?