The Inbetweeners (TV Series)

Night Out in London (2009)

James Buckley: Jay Cartwright

Quotes 

• Jay Cartwright : Bus wankers!

• Jay Cartwright : [Neil is in the toilet]  What's taking so fucking long?

  Neil Sutherland : Oh, Mate. It's not good. Get us some bog roll... Look!

  [displays penis to Jay] 

  Jay Cartwright : Ah, Jesus! Put it away, Neil!

  Neil Sutherland : I can't. It stings when it rubs on my pants!

  Jay Cartwright : Well... Take your pants off then!

  Neil Sutherland : I can't. Then it'll rub on my jeans.

  Jay Cartwright : Neil, No matter what your old man says, You can't Walk around London with your knob hanging out.

• Jay Cartwright : I fucked some girl up there last week.

  Will McKenzie : Where in London?

  Jay Cartwright : The Tower Of London.

  Will McKenzie : What did you do after you fucked her? Cut her head off?

  Jay Cartwright : She's already seen the crown jewels: my bellend.

• Jay : Bus wankers!

  Simon : What did I just say? Oh Christ, Jay.

  Will : Oh no. They're coming.

  Jay : Shit! Drive!

  Simon : Where? Where am I meant to drive to?

  Will : Anywhere!

  Jay : Oh shit.

  Simon : [turns car onto pavement] 

  Will : Anywhere - but - the pavement.

  Bus Stop Guy : [Grabs Simon's throat] 

  Simon : Listen... I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I'm really. Please.

  Bus Stop Guy : Who's a wanker?

  Simon : [still throttled]  I'm really sorry.

  Bus Stop Guy : I'm a wanker am I?

  Simon : I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

  Bus Stop Guy : I'm a wanker, ye?

  Simon : I'm sorry.

  Will : He said he's sorry. He's really sorry.

  Bus Stop Guy : [laughing and still throttling Simon while Simon shuts the car window]  I'd rather be a bus wanker than drive that lump of yellow shit!

  Simon : You got me throttled!