Dying Is Easy (2021)

Aaron Schoenke: Joker

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Batman enters the room to confront the Joker] 

  Joker : This moment... It was supposed to take place on the Gotham Bridge. By the old water reserve. Or Jerry's abandoned circus. Televised for millions to see. It wasn't supposed to end like this.

  Batman : What do you want?

  [Joker turns around] 

  Joker : I'm dying. Melanoma.

  Batman : Like I said, acid bath wasn't too funny, was it?

  Joker : The night we first met. With all my close calls, skin cancer. The humor is not lost on me. I guess dying is easy.

  Batman : Yeah, and comedy is hard. Why am I here?

  Joker : That's a great question. I want you to finish what you started. I want you, Batsy, to kill me, not the cancer. Our legacy is too grand to end with a whimper. It must be... epic! It must be gut-wrenching.

  [Batman just stares at Joker] 

  Joker : You have nothing to say? I just told you that I'm dying. This is it. The final confrontation after all we've been through. This is our final soliloquy.

  Batman : I don't care about our legacy.

  [Batman turns around and walks away] 

  Joker : You're a coward! You won't kill me because... you're afraid! Not 'cause of some high, moral code, or your... one rule. It's because without me, you can't justify your own existence.

  [Batman turns around and approaches Joker] 

  Batman : You're right. I am afraid. I'm afraid of myself, that once I murder, I'll like the taste of it, and then I'll kill every single inmate at Arkham Asylum. But you need me. Freeze has Nora, Poison Ivy has her environmental cause and Riddler has his puzzles. But you, you have nothing. Without me, you become your worst fear, and that's being upstaged by everyone here.

  Joker : I... am the king of this asylum! See my crown? It sparkles with the bitter glow of twilight.

  [Joker moves the white queen on the chess board] 

  Joker : See, Batsy? I'm the one thing that you are not. You spend your whole life... fighting crime, night after night. Dead sidekick after dead sidekick. And for what? You're utterly miserable. Afraid of the one thing that could possibly bring you joy. See, I am completely and genuinely happy. I wake up every morning with a great big smile. I absolutely love my life. But you... you absolutely hate yours. I've often wondered... where were you when the boy laid, bleeding out... on the floor of that dusty warehouse? Where were you? True, presenting him to me was a stroke of genius, masterful in your story writing. And I have to give the boy credit; he knew how to sell it. His firm, muscular body... breaking under the weight of my lead crowbar. Do you know what his last words were? With his last breath? What he... said. He said your name, over and over again. I would give anything to hear the boy scream your name one last time.

  [Batman moves his head forward a bit] 

  Joker : Oh, did I hit a nerve? Ouch! Well, I digress. Moving on.

  [Joker opens a hardbound copy of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and pulls out photos of Barbara Gordon to show to Batman] 

  Joker : How could we forget our favorite redhead? So photogenic, so young. Do you know what I remember the most about this night? It was her hair.

  [sniffs] 

  Joker : It smelled like lavender.

• [Joker shows Batman a photo of Barbara Gordon's face from the night he shot and stripped her. Batman shoves him to the wall and grabs him by the neck] 

  Batman : I've had enough of this.

  Joker : Well, then finish it! Do what everyone wants and just kill me!

  Batman : I'm not an executioner.

  Joker : Just an indirect one, Batsy.

  [gasping] 

  Joker : I can never measure up to your death toll. Yours is the accumulation of everyone in this asylum. Half the truth stuns Gotham. Because of you, that's your legacy.

  Batman : Enough!

  [Batman throws Joker down and wraps a chain around his neck before pulling him up] 

  Joker : How many people would still be alive if you had died years ago? Robin would have a little flock of his own. And Barbara, her dreams shattered, like her spine!

  [Joker laughs maniacally while Batman tightens the chain] 

  Batman : You say that you're king around here, but all I hear is the same old song and dance. You're no longer relevant. When's the last time that you've been in the news? Croc, Ivy, Freeze, even Condiment King have had their headlines. What have you done?

  Joker : You left me a bit on the curb, Batsy. You know those three missing police officers? I killed them.

  Batman : What?

  Joker : I gutted them... and left them to rot... at O'Neil's Toyland. I can't tell you how much of a joy it's been, to watch in secret, as Gotham's torn itself apart.

  [Batman lets go of Joker] 

  Batman : Oracle, did you get all that?

  Barbara Gordon : Loud and clear. O'Neil's Toyland. I'm sending the info to GCPD now.

  [Batman looks down at Joker] 

  Batman : You're so predictable. I knew if I worked you out, you would lose your focus.

  Joker : Worked up? I'm dying.

  Batman : Are you?

  Joker : What are you talking about?

  Batman : I faked your toxicology report, along with your blood samples.

  [Joker groans in disgust while banging his head against the mesh fence] 

  Joker : Look at me. I'm sick.

  Batman : I've been poisoning your water supply for weeks. I knew that if you thought that you were dying, that you would play your cards to try to impress me. I discovered that one of Juris' thugs had possession of a police baton. It was registered to one of the missing police officers. I found three sets of fingerprints, and one of them was yours.

  [Joker pauses, then looks at Batman] 

  Joker : You lied to me. You lied when you said you don't care about me, but you do. You spend weeks planning and preparing this, so we could have another... awe-inspiring performance. I must say, Batsy, bravo. bravo.

  [Joker slowly applauds Batman] 

  Batman : I guess dying isn't easy.

  Joker : Is that a joke?

  [Joker laughs maniacally as Batman walks away]