Very Important Pennis (TV Series)
Very Important Pennis: Part 2 (1996)
Paul Kaye: Dennis Pennis, Mike Strutter
Quotes
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Dennis Pennis : You're a Buddhist, do you like Tibet or do you think gambling's wrong?
Richard Gere : I'm sorry?
Dennis Pennis : Nothing.
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Dennis Pennis : [to Arnold Schwarzenegger] Arnold, you're one of Hollywood's biggest names, man! Seventeen letters!
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Dennis Pennis : [referring to a British brand of cleaning product] Mr. Sheen, you are the most polished performer I know. I mean you've had a lot of smudging and smearing but you think you've wiped the slate clean? I mean, are you gonna shine through? You're a shining example, Mr. Sheen?
Charlie Sheen : [oblivious to Dennis' joke] I would like to believe so and I thank you for your optimism, thank you.
Dennis Pennis : My pleasure, I never use anything else.
Charlie Sheen : Your optimism matches only mine.
Dennis Pennis : Uh-huh! I'll work that out when I get home.
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Dennis Pennis : There's rumours going around that you were tricked into that infamous sequence in Basic Instinct.
Sharon Stone : I'm afraid that's a thing of the past.
Dennis Pennis : Because from where I was, you looked fully debriefed.
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Dennis Pennis : Do you think things get more beautiful with age?
Joan Collins : Yes. Particularly me.
Dennis Pennis : [holding a blackened banana] Try saying that to my banana.
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Dennis Pennis : [to Demi Moore] Are there any circumstances, if it wasn't gratuitous and it was tastefully done, would consider keeping your clothes on in a movie?
[Demi gives the camera a funny look and moves on]
Dennis Pennis : [sniggers] Yeah, I like that.
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Dennis Pennis : A Fish Called Wanda, you were privilidged to see John Cleese in the nude. Was that a privilege? I mean, was he quite 'Pythonesque'?
Jamie Lee Curtis : To see any man nude is a privilege.
Dennis Pennis : Was he Python-esque or did he have a Fawlty Tower?
[she walks on, smiling and shaking her head]
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Dennis Pennis : You're not related to Michael Barrymore by any chance, because he likes to go on quite a few benders, I hear.
Drew Barrymore : Who's Michael Barrymore?
Dennis Pennis : I thought he was your uncle.
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Dennis Pennis : Any chance you might sort of make enough money in the future so you never have to work again?
Courtney Love : I already did that.
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Dennis Pennis : What was the other one I was gonna ask you?
Drew Barrymore : The wild child. So you like the wild child?
Courtney Love : [interrupting] Who's a wilder child, excuse me? I guess I'm not a child anymore.
Dennis Pennis : Oh, sure you are. Just an old, grown-up, sort of...
Drew Barrymore : She's a mature child!
Courtney Love : What, do you think I'm like, 35 or something?
Dennis Pennis : At least!
[Courtney gives Dennis a slap in the face]
Dennis Pennis : Ooh! What a slapper!
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Dennis Pennis : Are there any circumstances in which you'd appear naked in a film? Would you strip off?
Michael Douglas : No, I have, uh... When I turned 50 I decided no more dropping trou'.
Dennis Pennis : But even if you made a film about American football? Presumably we'd get to see your tackle then?
Michael Douglas : Sorry?
Dennis Pennis : Your tackle. Would we get to see your tackle in a film about American football?
Michael Douglas : Would I get to see you tackle?
Dennis Pennis : You tackle, your tackle.
Michael Douglas : My tackle? I don't get it. What is that, an English expression? My tackle?
Dennis Pennis : It might be, I don't speak English. Well, I do actually, obviously. Well, what I also... Are there any similarities between sex and your bank account?
Michael Douglas : Is this a joke? No, not that I know of.
Dennis Pennis : Well, when you withdraw, do you lose interest?
Michael Douglas : [laughs] I see, very good.
[starts to move on]
Michael Douglas : Hope you enjoy this one. Take care!
Dennis Pennis : You too, baby.
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Dennis Pennis : When you did Platoon, did you met a lot of Vietnam vets?
Charlie Sheen : I did afterwards, sure.
Dennis Pennis : That's gotta be the toughest job to be a Vietnam vet. Because you gotta care for animals in a war zone.
Charlie Sheen : I don't know how to take that.
Dennis Pennis : On the chin.
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Dennis Pennis : I loved Seven, thought it was amazing.
Morgan Freeman : You did?
Dennis Pennis : Thought it was incredible. Although I must ask, that last scene, was that the best head you've ever been given?
Morgan Freeman : Shame on you. Shame, shame...
Dennis Pennis : Had to ask.