- Jeff Goldblum: [to Dennis Pennis] You're not an impostor, are you? What have you done with the BBC fellow?
- Dennis Pennis: You're a Buddhist, do you like Tibet or do you think gambling's wrong?
- Richard Gere: I'm sorry?
- Dennis Pennis: Nothing.
- Dennis Pennis: [to Arnold Schwarzenegger] Arnold, you're one of Hollywood's biggest names, man! Seventeen letters!
- Dennis Pennis: [referring to a British brand of cleaning product] Mr. Sheen, you are the most polished performer I know. I mean you've had a lot of smudging and smearing but you think you've wiped the slate clean? I mean, are you gonna shine through? You're a shining example, Mr. Sheen?
- Charlie Sheen: [oblivious to Dennis' joke] I would like to believe so and I thank you for your optimism, thank you.
- Dennis Pennis: My pleasure, I never use anything else.
- Charlie Sheen: Your optimism matches only mine.
- Dennis Pennis: Uh-huh! I'll work that out when I get home.
- Dennis Pennis: There's rumours going around that you were tricked into that infamous sequence in Basic Instinct.
- Sharon Stone: I'm afraid that's a thing of the past.
- Dennis Pennis: Because from where I was, you looked fully debriefed.
- Dennis Pennis: Do you think things get more beautiful with age?
- Joan Collins: Yes. Particularly me.
- Dennis Pennis: [holding a blackened banana] Try saying that to my banana.
- Dennis Pennis: [to Demi Moore] Are there any circumstances, if it wasn't gratuitous and it was tastefully done, would consider keeping your clothes on in a movie?
- [Demi gives the camera a funny look and moves on]
- Dennis Pennis: [sniggers] Yeah, I like that.
- Dennis Pennis: A Fish Called Wanda, you were privilidged to see John Cleese in the nude. Was that a privilege? I mean, was he quite 'Pythonesque'?
- Jamie Lee Curtis: To see any man nude is a privilege.
- Dennis Pennis: Was he Python-esque or did he have a Fawlty Tower?
- [she walks on, smiling and shaking her head]
- Dennis Pennis: You're not related to Michael Barrymore by any chance, because he likes to go on quite a few benders, I hear.
- Drew Barrymore: Who's Michael Barrymore?
- Dennis Pennis: I thought he was your uncle.
- Dennis Pennis: Any chance you might sort of make enough money in the future so you never have to work again?
- Courtney Love: I already did that.
- Dennis Pennis: What was the other one I was gonna ask you?
- Drew Barrymore: The wild child. So you like the wild child?
- Courtney Love: [interrupting] Who's a wilder child, excuse me? I guess I'm not a child anymore.
- Dennis Pennis: Oh, sure you are. Just an old, grown-up, sort of...
- Drew Barrymore: She's a mature child!
- Courtney Love: What, do you think I'm like, 35 or something?
- Dennis Pennis: At least!
- [Courtney gives Dennis a slap in the face]
- Dennis Pennis: Ooh! What a slapper!
- Dennis Pennis: Are there any circumstances in which you'd appear naked in a film? Would you strip off?
- Michael Douglas: No, I have, uh... When I turned 50 I decided no more dropping trou'.
- Dennis Pennis: But even if you made a film about American football? Presumably we'd get to see your tackle then?
- Michael Douglas: Sorry?
- Dennis Pennis: Your tackle. Would we get to see your tackle in a film about American football?
- Michael Douglas: Would I get to see you tackle?
- Dennis Pennis: You tackle, your tackle.
- Michael Douglas: My tackle? I don't get it. What is that, an English expression? My tackle?
- Dennis Pennis: It might be, I don't speak English. Well, I do actually, obviously. Well, what I also... Are there any similarities between sex and your bank account?
- Michael Douglas: Is this a joke? No, not that I know of.
- Dennis Pennis: Well, when you withdraw, do you lose interest?
- Michael Douglas: [laughs] I see, very good.
- [starts to move on]
- Michael Douglas: Hope you enjoy this one. Take care!
- Dennis Pennis: You too, baby.
- Dennis Pennis: When you did Platoon, did you met a lot of Vietnam vets?
- Charlie Sheen: I did afterwards, sure.
- Dennis Pennis: That's gotta be the toughest job to be a Vietnam vet. Because you gotta care for animals in a war zone.
- Charlie Sheen: I don't know how to take that.
- Dennis Pennis: On the chin.
- Dennis Pennis: I loved Seven, thought it was amazing.
- Morgan Freeman: You did?
- Dennis Pennis: Thought it was incredible. Although I must ask, that last scene, was that the best head you've ever been given?
- Morgan Freeman: Shame on you. Shame, shame...
- Dennis Pennis: Had to ask.