Photos
Quotes
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Rachel Berry : [rapidly] Thank you so much, it really is a pleasure. While the boys chose a selection of songs that casts an eye inward on the irresponsible life choices and sexual hunger of today's modern teens
[breath]
Rachel Berry : we have chosen a selection of songs that speaks of the nation as a whole during these troubling times filled with economic uncertainty and unbridled social woes, because if there's two things America needs right now, that is sunshine and optimism!
[pause]
Rachel Berry : Also angels.
[big grin, pants]
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Rachel Berry : Haven't seen you at Glee rehearsals.
Quinn Fabray : I'm not Superwoman. I know Glee is your whole life, but I have the Cheerios, I'm on honor roll, I have friends.
Rachel Berry : You don't have to be so embarrassed. No one at Glee is gonna judge you. Look I know, everyone expects us to be enemies and be in competition, but I don't hate you.
Quinn Fabray : Why not? I've been awful to you.
Rachel Berry : That was before you knew what it was like to be me; an outsider. More people are gonna start finding out about this, and you're gonna need friends who can relate.
Quinn Fabray : How can you relate to what I'm going through?
Rachel Berry : You don't think people whisper about me in the lunchrooms or draw pornographic pictures of me on the bathroom walls?
Quinn Fabray : That was me, actually.
Rachel Berry : Look, I don't agree with the choice you're making, but you're gonna need Glee. You have seven months of your youth left. You should enjoy it. And let's face it, in a of couple months, that cheerleading uniform isn't gonna fit and we're gonna be all you have left. Just come back to practice. Boys versus girls, it's fun. And we could certainly use your voice right now. You're actually a good singer, Quinn. Occasionally sharp, but that's just because you lack my years of training.
Quinn Fabray : I would have tortured you if the roles were reversed, you know.
Rachel Berry : I know.
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Rachel Berry : I told you guys.
Santana Lopez : We know. You've been berating us for the better part of an hour.
Quinn Fabray : Were they really that good?
Rachel Berry : They were, Quinn. Look, I was fine with arranging, choreographing, and directing this number free of charge. But we underestimated the boys. Their number will go to sectionals, and once again, I will be humiliated.
Mercedes Jones : How were we supposed to know they'd rock the house? They've never been good.
Tina Cohen-Chang : How did they d-d-do it?
Kurt Hummel : [entering] The real question is "What were they on?". Though I've been grouped with the boys, my allegiance still remains with you ladies. They declined my offer to do their hair in cornrows and all my artistic decisions have been derided as too costly because they involve several varieties of exotic bird feathers.
[blank stares]
Kurt Hummel : We all took something.
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Finn Hudson : What's up, A-Rage? Hey, sweet mash-up. You guys were so... energetic.
Rachel Berry : We were just taking a lesson from Major League Baseball. It... it's not cheating if everyone's doing it. We were just leveling out the playing field.
Finn Hudson : You really believe that?
Rachel Berry : No. Okay, I... I feel terrible. Even if we win, it's not gonna be satisfying.
Finn Hudson : I know. I don't even remember performing. What do you think we should do?
Rachel Berry : I think... the only way to make things right is to just withdraw from the competition. You know, admit that we were wrong and disqualify our respective teams immediately. No one gets to win.
Finn Hudson : Cool.
Rachel Berry : I'm sorry about what I said the other day. About calling you contemptible and deplorable.
Finn Hudson : Ah, that's all right. I didn't even know what those words meant.
Rachel Berry : What I meant to say is that I guess I get caught up in the competitive hysteria, too. My goals are too selfish. You know, it's time for me to stop competing against everyone and start competing alongside them.
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Rachel Berry : Cheater!
Finn Hudson : I don't know what you're talking about.
Rachel Berry : You took performance enhancers before your mash-up. Kurt told me. It's deplorable, contemptible, and it's just plain wrong. It's also cheating. As a matter of fact, I'm going to start calling you F-Rod.
Finn Hudson : Hey, hey, hey. Back off. I'm nothing like A-Rod, okay? I'd never take steroids. They make your junk fall off. Listen, Rachel, you don't know what it's like for me, the kind of pressure I'm under.
Rachel Berry : Oh, we all have pressures, but you know how I deal with it? The natural way, with a rigorous diet and exercise routine. I'm up at 6:00 a.m. every day. I have my protein shake with banana and flaxseed oil, and by 6:10, I'm on the elliptical. You know how I motivate myself? Not with anything artificial. I set a goal and I won't rest until I reach it.
Finn Hudson : Yeah, well, that's personal pressure. If you don't meet your goal, you're the only one who loses. I have to be the quarterback, the male lead, and deal with a pregnant girlfriend who yells at me about ice cream, so, yeah, maybe I helped me and my teammates out a little bit, but it's only because I'm sick and tired of working so hard and still losing.
Rachel Berry : Yeah, but winning by cheating isn't winning.
Finn Hudson : Oh, don't give me that. The only reason you're so pissed about this is 'cause you know you can't compete with us.
Rachel Berry : Oh, I am offended by that accusation. We haven't performed yet, but if I may say, our mash-up is spectacular.
Finn Hudson : Still isn't going to be as good. We're gonna win. You're gonna lose. Deal with it.
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Rachel Berry : Mr. Schuester is right. We can't get complacent.
Mercedes Jones : Chill out. I already picked the songs. We're gonna do a mash-up of "Halo" and "Walking on Sunshine".
Rachel Berry : Yeah, that was my idea.
Mercedes Jones : Whatever. Come on. We can do this in our sleep. You think those six dudes are gonna give us any competition? I say we just wing it.
Rachel Berry : We can't just wing it.
Mercedes Jones : All those in favor of winging it?
[nobody moves or replies]
Mercedes Jones : All those opposed?
[Rachel raises her hand]
Mercedes Jones : Looks like the ayes have it.
