Eric Bay-Andersen: Mike, Peter, Alec, Eddie, Pizza Delivery Guy

Quotes 

• Mike : Dude, I have two questions for you, what have you been smoking, and where can I get some?

• Mike : Let's consider the facts: Final Fantasy 8 had boring characters, uninspiring graphics, a frustrating story-line, and a vastly inferior battle system. However, Final Fantasy 7 had cool, complex characters, amazing unforgettable imagery a story-line to rival Lord of the Rings, and not to mention Nobou Uematsu's music, some of the most amazing, soul-affirming, life-bendingly brilliant music ever written.

  Peter : Nope.

  Mike : What do you mean 'nope'? Have you heard 'One Winged Angel?'

  Peter : Nope. I can see why you think you're right, but...

  Mike : 'I can see why you think you're right' - has a more pretentious statement ever been uttered?

• Alec : You don't like pepperoni?

  Peter : No.

  Alec : Well, then you're the only person in the world who doesn't.

  Peter : No, what about vegetarians?

  Alec : They're insane. They don't count.

• Alec : I tell you what we should have ordered - stuffed crust.

  Mike : I've never had it.

  Alec : Oh, It's awesome. You know, they've got this new kind here there's cheese and pepperoni in the crust. It's pizza stuffed with pizza! Why has the man who invented this not been given the Nobel peace prize?

• Mike : I think Greenpeace actually had that as their slogan for a while.

  Peter : Had what as their slogan?

  Mike : "Give pizza a chance".

• Alec : I'm serious. Everybody loves pizza. It's like the one thing that could possibly unite mankind. It's easy to make, you can customise it, it's fun to eat, fun to share.

  Mike : You can get one to your house quicker than an ambulance. Try calling 999 and saying "I need me some cheese" - see how far that gets you.

  Alec : Exactly. It's one of the few perfect things on Earth, like 'Calvin & Hobbes' or 'The Shawshank Redemption' or 'Stairway to Heaven'.

  Peter : Yeah, but what about people who can't have pizza? Like people who are lactose intolerant - they can't eat cheese.

  Mike : Why you gotta bring up the poor, unfortunate minorities?

  Alec : No, he's right. I mean, I feel sorry for them too. In some ways I feel more sorry for people who are lactose intolerant than people who are diabetic. I mean, they can never have proper milk on their cereal - that's just a travesty - and they can never take part in the great collective tradition of pizza eating.

  Mike : It is an awesome tradition.

  Peter : But not everyone in the world has had pizza before.

  Mike : Exactly. They don't know what they're missing.

  Alec : And I feel sorry for those poor souls.

• Mike : Whoa, calm down, Mr Grumpy Gills.

  Peter : Dude, don't talk like Juno.

  Mike : Why not? I wish I was Juno sometimes.

  Peter : You wish you were a five foot Canadian who gets knocked up by Michael Cera?

  Mike : No. Although, if I had to go out with a guy I'd totally go out with Michael Cera. He's like the sweetest dude.

• Eddie : I'm trying to sleep here, and it's really hard with you guys bitching about video games and pizza and Juno!

  Alec : Hey, don't get all pissy - you invited us here.

  Eddie : Yeah, well now I'm regretting it. You know what? Screw you guys, I'm going home.

  Alec : This is your home.

  Eddie : Yeah, well, I'm going to another part of it.