Parks and Recreation (TV Series)

Pawnee Zoo (2009)

Nick Offerman: Ron Swanson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ron Swanson : Okay, here's the situation:

  Leslie Knope : Your parents went away on a week's vacation. They left the keys to the brand new Porsche. Would they mind? Umm, well, of course not.

  [Tom begins beatboxing] 

  Leslie Knope : I'll just take it for a little spin and maybe show it off to a couple of friends. I'll just cruise it around the neighborhood. Well, maybe I shouldn't. Yeah, of course I should. Pay attention, here's the thick of the plot. I pulled up to the corner at the end of my block. That's when I saw this beautiful girlie girl walking. I picked up my car phone to perpetrate like I was talking.

  [Picks up Jerry's phone, then hangs it up] 

  Leslie Knope : The sun roof was open, the music was high. And this girl's hand was steadily moving up my thigh. She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far. I guess that's why I didn't notice that police car. I can't believe it, I just made a mistake. Well, parents are the same no matter time nor place. So to you all the kids all across the land. Take it from me, parents just don't understand.

  [Donna and Jerry applaud] 

  Leslie Knope : Thank you, thank you. Just a little something I know. So what's up?

  Ron Swanson : Uh, someone is on fire in Ramset Park. They need you to get down there right away.

  Leslie Knope : Oh my God...

• Jerry Gergich : Leslie, this guy from the Pawnee gay bar sent you a cake.

  Leslie Knope : Pawnee has a gay bar?

  Ron Swanson : Yeah, The Bulge.

  [Jerry and Tom give Ron a strange look] 

  Ron Swanson : It's behind my house.