- Captain Thaddeus Harris: And you let some two-bit crooked movie director snatch a 30 foot monkey from right under your nose!
- Thomas 'House' Conklin: Well, actually, it was a tactical miscalculation, a strategic oversight.
- Zed McGlunk: Yeah, he means he blew it.
- Thomas 'House' Conklin: Yeah, that's it.
- Captain Thaddeus Harris: Well, I want it caught and returned in one piece, now!
- Carey Mahoney: We'd love to, Sir, but eh, there's this little matter of transportation.
- Moses Hightower: The big gorilla stepped on our patrol cars.
- Thomas 'House' Conklin: [watching a movie at the cinema] Oh no! He's gonna squish her!
- Zed McGlunk: Come on, House, you've seen "The Revenge of Gordzilla" 15 times. You know she's gonna get rescued by Yakamoto Sakataki.
- Thomas 'House' Conklin: I don't know, Zed. Maybe this time he won't show up.