- Agent 839: I'm looking for an Officer Sweetchuck.
- Captain Thaddeus Harris: Sweetchuck? I just knew he was an enemy spy! No one can be that much of a jerk and be real!
- Agent 839: Officer Sweetchuck happens to be my brother!
- Thomas 'House' Conklin: Hey man, you got footprints on my Gorgonzola!
- Carl Sweetchuck: Sorry, House...
- Carey Mahoney: I never knew Sweetchuck had a brother.
- Agent 839: Carl's a very private person.
- Larvelle Jones: Carl? I never knew Sweetchuck had a first name!
- Larvelle Jones: Where's Doug?
- Carey Mahoney: Great, now he's missing too?
- Eugene Tackleberry: First Sweetchuck, now his brother.
- Thomas 'House' Conklin: Getting lost must run in the family.
- Carey Mahoney: Zed, this is Agent Doug, from the FBI.
- Zed McGlunk: The FBI? Man, you guys are really on the ball. Sweetchuck's only been missing for a couple o' seconds.