- Peters: Sir, I'm going to need you to put both hands on the steering wheel for me please.
- Mr. Jones: I'm going to need you to kiss my taint. You ofay piece of shit.
- Lane: Sir, you don't have to use that type of language.
- Mr. Jones: Listen to you. Talking like a real house negro.
- Lane: Sir, we stopped you because this vehicle has been flagged in a Federal hot-pursuit manhunt. But right now we're going to have to ask you to please step out of the car before we have to take you out of the car, sir.
- Mr. Jones: Show some respect for your elders. I was greasing slopes in the Mekong Delta while you and your boyfriend were still sucking on your mama's tit-tays!
- Peters: Sir, I don't know what the Mekong Delta is.
- Lane: Sir, this vehicle is not registered to you.
- Mr. Jones: Just got it.
- Peters: Where'd you get it?
- Mr. Jones: Found it.
- Lane: You found it?
- Mr. Jones: Found it.
- Lane: Where'd you find it?
- Mr. Jones: In your sister's ass.
- Roland Pike: [as Mindy begs for a restroom stop] Who the hell buys ceviche from a taco truck anyway !
- Raylan Givens: I can only imagine how hard it's been for you to get where you are in the Marshals Service.
- Rachel Brooks: Because I'm black? Or because I'm a woman?
- Raylan Givens: Because you're an idiot.
- Raylan Givens: Looks like we got a sniper on the Mexican side.
- Roland Pike: Well, that's not going to help tourism.