Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist (TV Series)

Community Theater (1998)

Will Le Bow: Stanley, Mr. Hammer

Quotes 

• Stanley : I have a little expertise in direction. Perhaps, uh, uh, you and Julie could maybe, uh, just improvise that scene...

  Dr. Katz : No, I wouldn't, uh, I wouldn't ask Julie to do that.

  Julie the Bartender : No, would that help you, Jon? I don't mind doing it.

  Dr. Katz : Oh, it would be an enormous help, but I don't think I would be comfortable asking you to do that.

  Stanley : Come on, she says she wants to do it.

  Julie the Bartender : Yeah, that's okay.

  Dr. Katz : [hands her pages]  Okay, page eleven. And in the scene before this, I've confessed to my cousin, but really to myself, that I'm attracted to you.

  Julie the Bartender : Ah.

  Stanley : Let me sit over here, I wanna get a good seat here.

  Dr. Katz : Okay.

  Stanley : Why don't you stand a little closer together? Get a little closer together.

  Julie the Bartender : Okay.

  Stanley : And Katz, first line is yours, and action.

  Dr. Katz : "You look so... radiant, Marie. How are you?"

  Julie the Bartender : "I'm okay. Y'know, I didn't sleep very well last night. How about you?"

  Dr. Katz : "I'm fine, but we need to talk, Marie. We really need to talk."

  Julie the Bartender : "About?"

  Dr. Katz : "I just thought that ever since Harry died, I, I, I feel like you've... been..."

  [Julie giggles] 

  Dr. Katz : "It's just that... ever since Harry died, I feel like you've been keeping me at a distance, almost pushing me away."

  Julie the Bartender : "I don't know what you're talking about, Oscar. I mean, that's just crazy."

  Dr. Katz : "Why do you think I have my pants altered on such a regular basis?"

  [Julie giggles] 

  Dr. Katz : Um...

  Julie the Bartender : Sorry.

  Dr. Katz : I'll feed you that line again.

  Julie the Bartender : Okay.

  Dr. Katz : "Why do you think I have my pants altered on such a regular basis?"

  Julie the Bartender : "I don't know, why?"

  Dr. Katz : "Because it's an excuse to see you, to spend time with you, to be near you."

  Julie the Bartender : "Well, is that true?"

  Dr. Katz : "Yes, yes it is."

  Julie the Bartender : "Because I feel like there have been times when I feel like I can't go another day without seeing you. It's just that our lives are so..."

  Dr. Katz : "Look at me, look in my eyes, and tell me that you don't love me."

  Stanley : Marie approaches Oscar slowly.

  Julie the Bartender : Jonathan, do you know how long I've dreamed of this moment? Do you have any idea?

  Stanley : They kiss, passionately.

  [is surprised when they actually kiss each other] 

  Stanley : This is good, this is good, you guys have a chemistry or something. I felt, I was moved, especially the part where you called Oscar "Jonathan".

  Julie the Bartender : No, I did not.

  Dr. Katz : That was an innocent mistake.

  Stanley : Yeah, "innocent", what did Freud call those? Oh yeah, something "slips"?

  Dr. Katz : That was not a Freudian slip. A Freudian slip is when you say not what you intended, but what you actually mean.

  Julie the Bartender : Yeah. Yeah, that's right.