Photos
Quotes
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Santana Lopez : How can you do a duet by yourself? Its like vocal masturbation or something.
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Sam Evans : I'm Sam. Sam I am. And I don't like Green Eggs and Ham.
Santana Lopez : He has no game.
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Artie Abrams : [breaking up with Brittany] You used me for my voice. That's the only reason you had sex with me. I have it on good authority.
[flashback to him in the cafeteria]
Santana Lopez : She's using you for your voice. That's the only reason she had sex with you.
Artie Abrams : Wait. How did you know that?
Santana Lopez : [tapping a random guy on the shoulder] Hi. Excuse me. Do you know Brittany?
Random Guy : Cheerios Brittany?
Santana Lopez : Mm-hmm.
Random Guy : Yeah. We had sex.
Santana Lopez : [turning back to Artie] Hmm. Look, I don't mean to be a bitch - well, yeah, actually, I do - but the only thing that you can give Brittany that she can't get from someone else is super choice parking.
[return to real time]
Artie Abrams : I know that sex doesn't mean anything to you, but did you ever think how much it means to me? After my accident, we didn't know if I'd ever be able even to do that. And when I found out that I could, it seemed like some kind of miracle, and you just walked all over that. You're not my partner anymore. I told Mr. Schue I'm pulling out of the duet competition.
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Brittany Pierce : [making out with Santana] I love your sweet lady kisses.
Santana Lopez : Mm-hmm. It's a nice break from all that scissoring.
Brittany Pierce : We should do a duet together. We should sing Melissa Etheridge's "Come to My Window".
Santana Lopez : First of all? There's a lot of talking going on, and I wants to get my mack on.
Brittany Pierce : Well... I don't know, I just... I think we just...
Santana Lopez : Okay, second of all? I'm not making out with you because I'm in love with you and want to sing about making lady babies. I'm only here because Puck's been in the slammer for about twelve hours now, and I'm like a lizard. I need something warm beneath me or I can't digest my food.
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Mercedes Jones : Why would I want to do a duet with you? We can't stand each other.
Santana Lopez : Look, Wheezy, I realize I've tried to punch you a couple times, and sometimes, when you're not looking, I put weird things in your food. But it's a new year, and you and I are the best singers at this school.
Mercedes Jones : I don't get what the big deal is. It's just a free trip to Breadstix.
Santana Lopez : Um, I'm sorry, have you been to Breadstix? They are legally forbidden to stop bringing you breadsticks. One time I brought a wheelbarrow, and when the manager tried to stop me from filling it up, I called the corporate office and got her fired.
Mercedes Jones : Well, I guess our voices do sorta go together.
Santana Lopez : Mm-hmm. That's right, girl! So if we do a duet together, we will be the undisputed top bitches at this school.
