- Lorne: You know, you remind me of my parents.
- Jack Donaghy: I find that hard to believe.
- Lorne: They were both really intense. They wanted me to grow up to be Prime Minister, so as a kid, I had to win the spelling bee. They made me memorize all 700 words in the Canadian dictionary, then I had to go to law school.
- Jack Donaghy: You went to law school?
- Lorne: For one day. I was just so tightly wound that I got kicked out for karate chopping my roommate. I know, I'm a stereotype. All guys from Quebec are good at karate.
- [pause]
- Lorne: Oh my God, where are my manners? Do you wanna try meth?
- Tracy Jordan: Kenmore! I was thinking about what you said, and you were right. I'm Oscar winner Tracy Jordan, and as scary as it is, I have a responsibility to fix the world starting with the worst place ever.
- Kenneth Parcell: Ikea on a Saturday?
- Avery Jessup: [Gasps] Are we not even making our own meth? What is happening to American manufacturing?
- Carol: You know what a great pilot would have done? NOT hit the birds. That's what I do EVERYDAY : NOT hit birds. Where's my ticket to the Grammys?