- Roger the Alien: [to Stan] And what makes you the big dog?
- Stan Smith: Um, everything. I'm smarter than you, I'm stronger than you, I can wet-nurse better than you.
- [starts to lactate]
- Stan Smith: Easy, girls.
- Francine Smith: [to Stan and Roger] Enough! Can't we have one meal without you two getting into an angry singing contest? Why is everything a competition?
- Hayley Smith: Yeah, you guys should just fuck and get it over with.
- [everyone looks at her]
- Hayley Smith: Clearly, they have repressed sexual feelings for each other that they're channeling into hostility.
- Steve Smith: How's that Psych 101 class going?
- Hayley Smith: It's only day three, but I understand how the whole world works now.
- Roger the Alien: [to Steve] Go to your room. Get back here. Give me a kiss. You're a good boy. You just frustrate me.
- Steve Smith: I don't know. Pepperoni doesn't seem like a last sleepover pizza. You know, because pepperoni starts out as one stick and then you have cut it all up. I fear it sends a message of separation more than unity.
- Snot Lonstein: You're killing me!
- Steve Smith: Don't bite my head off!
- Barry Robinson: Yeah, don't bite his head off!
- Snot Lonstein: Shut up, Barry! You're just going to eat all the pizza anyway.
- Barry Robinson: Hey, don't lob factual statements at me as if they're insults!
- Mr. Rivera-Perez: [to Roger] You don't have any lines. Stop improvising!
- Roger the Alien: I need to be heard. I have 20 people coming to see me. I'm crushing hard on one of them. Do you know what that's like, Mr. Rivera-Perez? You're a gay, amateur director. You must've crushed hard on someone along the way. Daniel? Maybe... maybe there was a Daniel in your life?
- Francine Smith: [about Stan and Roger] I don't get it. They're friends again?
- Hayley Smith: Told ya. They just needed to fuck.