- Nostalgia Critic: So it's not as bad as Street Fighter, but that's like saying getting stabbed in the stomach isn't as bad as testicular torture.
- Nostalgia Critic: If I had a choice between seeing these movies again and crawling across a street of broken glass on my belly with my fly open, only to be greeted by a pack of rabid wolverines who only want to eat me, but rape me... I'd probably see the movies again, but it's close! Very, very close, like a gnat's wing.
- Nostalgia Critic: The movie centers around three people: Johnny Cage who makes a living as a pretentious actor, Sonya who makes her living as a pouty FBI agent, and Liu Kang who makes his living as a... um... Asian.
- Nostalgia Critic: They all enter the tournament for different reasons. Sonya, because she's after a killer named Kano; Johnny Cage, because he thinks it will help his career; and Liu Kang because he's... um... Asian.
- Nostalgia Critic: The least he can do is tell us where they've taken her.
- Lord Rayden: [hoarsely] The Emperor's castle.
- Nostalgia Critic: The Emperor's asshole?
- Nostalgia Critic: [shrugs so high his back cracks] Ah! Seriously, no more Johnny Cage jokes. I just can't shrug anymore!